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For a long time, I believed I was approaching self-care all wrong. I indulged in pedicures, enjoyed massages, socialized with friends, watched movies, and read books—all the typical activities associated with self-care. Yet, I found myself feeling more drained and anxious. Perhaps I was missing the point. I constantly took time for myself, but it was just part of my routine, not a meaningful reset.
After considerable reflection and therapy, I learned from my therapist that engaging in traditional self-care activities often overlooked the root causes of my stress. She encouraged me to dedicate just fifteen minutes daily to confront my stressors—like decluttering my living space or sorting through my mail, which had piled up high on my kitchen table.
I wish I could say I took her advice to heart and made lasting changes (spoiler alert: I didn’t). I managed to stick with it for about two weeks, but those two weeks were transformative. Chipping away at my overwhelming to-do list helped alleviate my stress, allowing me to truly enjoy my life.
What Is Genuine Self-Care?
Self-care has been commodified, manipulated by capitalism into a means of selling us products, similar to the commercialization of romantic love. We’re led to believe that our needs can be fulfilled through consumption. As Evette Dionne, Editor-in-Chief of Bitch Media, noted in a social media post, self-care is an act of survival. For her, it involves tackling difficult issues we often avoid—like adhering to medication schedules, attending therapy, and establishing boundaries, even if that means distancing ourselves from harmful relationships. In her view, self-care is about prioritizing therapy, setting strict limits on our time, and tuning into our bodies.
Self-Care Is Personal
There’s no one-size-fits-all approach to self-care. At its core, self-care is about taking care of yourself, encompassing what you need to achieve emotional, physical, and spiritual well-being. Whether it’s something you consciously incorporate into your life or it comes naturally, self-care is unique to you.
It won’t resemble the self-care practices of your friends or the influencers you admire online. It’ll look like you.
Practical Tips for Authentic Self-Care
Here are some universal self-care strategies you can implement today:
- Prioritize Sleep: The pandemic disrupted many of our routines, often leading to poor sleep environments filled with anxiety. Focus on good sleep hygiene.
- Stay Hydrated: Drink enough water to feel your best. Hydration is crucial for your health.
- Tune Into Your Body: This relates to the first two tips. Pay attention to your body’s needs: take your medications, eat nutritious foods, exercise, and allow yourself to rest.
- Eliminate Toxic Relationships: Set healthy boundaries with people who drain your energy. If certain social media accounts, friends, or even family members consistently make you feel bad, consider limiting your interactions.
- Reflect on Your Life: Take the time to assess what you genuinely want from life. Identify what brings you joy—and what doesn’t. Start making changes to align your life with your desires.
- Outsource Tasks: If possible, hire help for chores you dislike. Whether it’s cleaning or grocery shopping, delegating tasks can alleviate stress.
- Get Outside: Nature has proven benefits for mental health. Embrace the outdoors for fresh air, sunshine, and a break from screens.
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Summary
In essence, real self-care goes beyond superficial activities like bubble baths and manicures. It’s about addressing the root causes of your stress and prioritizing your well-being in a way that feels authentic to you. By implementing practical strategies and personalizing your approach, you can cultivate a self-care routine that truly nourishes your mind and body.
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