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I have an 8-year-old son who is bright, full of freckles, and undeniably clever. He’s my third boy (I call them Handsome 1, 2, and 3) and has a scrappy nature that keeps me on my toes. He’s always up to something mischievous and, for the record, has a strong aversion to wearing pants. However, nothing could prepare me for what unfolded during our annual pediatric check-up last summer.
The visit started off typically: checking height, weight, blood pressure, and pulse—the usual routine. The kids were all doing well, consistently hanging around the 50th percentile, just as they always have. Next, we moved to the hallway for vision tests, a part that always makes me anxious. My husband has poor eyesight, and I worry the kids might inherit that. Up to now, only Handsome #2 needed glasses. I held my breath as they took turns reading the chart. Handsome #1 and my daughter nailed it. But when it was Handsome #3’s turn, he struggled. My heart sank—was he headed down the path of poor vision? We were referred to an eye doctor for a follow-up.
Once home, I thought I’d ease the situation by letting him browse for new glasses online. To my surprise, he was excited and created a favorites list featuring big frames, small frames, vibrant colors, and classic black. He even asked if he could have more than one pair! I felt proud of him for handling it so well. This enthusiasm wasn’t shocking, considering his love for trying on everyone else’s glasses.
The next day, we went to the eye doctor for his very first appointment. Handsome #2 was nervous entering the office filled with large equipment and strange chairs, but Handsome #3 was fearless and eager to begin. After filling out a few forms, the technician began asking him questions.
“Do you have trouble seeing things up close?”
“Yes.”
“How about far away?”
“Yep!”
“Does bright light bother you?”
“Uh huh. All the time.”
“How well do you do in the dark?”
“I can’t really see anything.”
My heart sank. How had I missed this? My sweet boy was struggling silently; he once wore shoes two sizes too small just to avoid bothering me.
The eye exam began with the technician showing him a book of small letters. He did alright with the first line but faltered badly by the third line, getting nearly every letter wrong. I was shocked! The left eye exam mirrored the right, and I found it odd that both eyes had the same vision, but I brushed it off. She then suggested moving on to larger letters, hoping for better results.
As the lights dimmed, he covered his right eye, looking innocent with the little spoon on his face. The technician displayed the giant “E” on the screen—so big it could be seen from the parking lot. He squinted and said, “P?” with uncertainty in his voice.
“Sweet baby Jesus!” I thought. “Everyone can see the E!” The results worsened as he failed line after line, achieving maybe 10% accuracy. It was official—he would need glasses.
After thanking him for his patience, the technician left, and the doctor soon entered. “I heard you’re having some trouble seeing. Let’s take a look.” The doctor examined his eyes and assured me everything looked fine. Next, he showed him different lenses and asked him to choose between one or two.
“Sounds great,” Handsome #3 replied, surprisingly cheerful. But as the doctor asked him to identify letters, he continued to struggle until, in a moment of carelessness, he suddenly read a line perfectly.
Oh my gosh. He was faking it! I was ready to pray for a miracle, and this little rascal was lying!
“Your vision is perfect. 20/20,” the doctor said, giving a cheerful fist bump.
Handsome #3’s face fell in disbelief. He had been caught red-handed! As we walked to the car, he sulked, and I asked, “Why did you pretend you couldn’t see?”
“Mom! I can’t see! That doctor doesn’t know what he’s doing!”
I shot him a knowing look. He quickly confessed, “Fine! I don’t need glasses. I just want them because they’re cool! I’ll wear Handsome #2’s old ones!”
“It doesn’t work like that, buddy.”
“Oh yeah? Then I’ll wear dad’s! I’m getting glasses someday. I promise!”
This was from a kid with perfect vision, determined to get his hands on a pair of glasses one way or another. Next week, his brother is scheduled for braces. I can’t help but wonder if Handsome #3 will devise a plan to make his teeth look crooked!
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