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Nearly thirteen years ago, my husband and I became a multiracial family when we adopted our first child, a beautiful Black baby girl, chosen by her birth mother. Our family dynamics became a focal point of curiosity everywhere we went. Two years later, we welcomed another Black daughter, and then a Black son two years after that. (Yes, we had three children under the age of four.) This journey attracted a range of reactions—stares, comments, compliments, and sometimes, outright insults.
As white parents, we initially engaged in some pre-adoption education, but it was only after adopting our children that we fully understood the pervasive white bias in society—something that continues today. I began to view everything through the lens of racial diversity and awareness. It became clear that if my children were to grow up feeling confident and proud of their Black heritage, we couldn’t depend on the school system to provide that foundation.
From the start, we recognized a stark absence of representation for our little ones. The preschools we visited had either one or no Black dolls and only a single book featuring Dr. King. Toy aisles showcased a lone racially ambiguous doll, while white toys dominated the shelves. Clothing often featured cartoon characters that were predominantly white, and literature about Black figures usually revolved around themes of strife, such as slavery and Civil Rights.
In those early years, we took action. We gathered an extensive collection of books, toys, art, and music that reflected our children’s identities and their history. We sought out mentors, expanded our social circle, and found Black hair care professionals to help us with our kids’ hair. Over the years, we transitioned to a majority-Black church, celebrated Juneteenth, and sought out Black Santa decorations for Christmas, aiming to create a life that represented our racially diverse family.
Fast forward to today, and Black history is still often treated as an add-on rather than an integral part of education. It’s crucial to acknowledge that separating history is not the same as equality. Ignoring the entirety of history, while emphasizing the accomplishments of whiteness, does not serve any student. My children need to see themselves represented in their education, but their white peers must also have exposure to these histories. Shielding children from the truth only perpetuates systemic issues and harms future generations who will occupy influential roles in society.
Limiting Black history lessons to the month of February, the shortest month of the year, falls drastically short of what is necessary. There’s a wealth of knowledge to gain—and much to unlearn. None of us are untouched by systemic biases.
I am grateful that I have not relied on public schools to teach my kids about race. After thirteen years of being a family, my faith in the system remains unshaken. While I recognize some progress, many changes are merely the surface of much deeper issues.
It’s heartening to witness the rise of activism and awareness. Changes to discriminatory dress codes, the recognition of Juneteenth as a national holiday, and discussions around Critical Race Theory indicate a shift in attitudes. However, we still have a long way to go.
Parents cannot afford to wait for others to catch up. My family has no time to waste. We read extensively, watch documentaries, listen to music and podcasts, and engage in deep discussions. My children are learning about the significance of Juneteenth, the history of Black Wall Street, concepts like code switching and white fragility, and the contributions of amazing Black inventors. They’ve even discovered that Memorial Day originated as Decoration Day, honored by Black Civil War soldiers.
I fully support the teaching of Critical Race Theory, comprehensive history, and the celebration of Juneteenth—elements I never encountered in my own schooling. Yet, I refuse to sit idly by while politicians decide the importance of these topics. Time is precious, and progress is slow.
I also harbor doubts about whether white educators can convey accurate historical narratives to my children. Those who once taught only about MLK in January and sprinkled in a bit of Black history during March are not suddenly equipped to be “woke.” Before you reach out, let me clarify—I have immense respect for teachers. They are overworked, underpaid, and deserve recognition. However, they are not immune to the biases that pervade our society, many having been educated in the same systems I was, where race was a taboo subject.
We can advocate for racial equity while simultaneously addressing our children’s immediate needs. As many educators rightly say, parents are the first teachers. It is our responsibility to educate our children, which means we must also commit to our own learning. We will stumble along the way, but I prefer to take action, even imperfectly, rather than wait for a system to acknowledge the importance of my children’s racial identities.
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Summary:
In a multiracial family, the author emphasizes the importance of teaching Black history at home, recognizing the deficiencies in the educational system. The piece highlights the need for accurate representation and understanding of Black culture beyond short commemorative periods. The author stresses the role of parents in educating their children about race, advocating for a more inclusive approach to history that encompasses all identities.