40+ Hilarious Bank Jokes and Puns to Make Your Money Smile

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Comedy greats like Joan Rivers, Wanda Sykes, Jerry Seinfeld, and Chris Rock have discovered a timeless truth: the funniest material often comes from our everyday experiences. Whether it’s visiting the dentist or watching a plumber at work, these moments provide a universal source of humor.

One such experience that often feels tedious is visiting the bank. The endless queues, outdated tech, and those pesky missing pens can make anyone chuckle. That’s why bank jokes and puns are so amusing! While accountant humor and money quips can be entertaining, there’s something delightful about a good loanshark joke. With that in mind, we’ve compiled a collection of the most cringe-worthy bank jokes that are sure to make even your teller chuckle.

1. Give a man a gun, and he’ll rob a bank. Give a man a bank, and he’ll rob everyone.
2. What did the football coach say when he visited the bank? “I want my quarterback!”
3. Why did the teller get fired? An elderly lady asked him to check her balance, so he tipped her over.
4. Why didn’t the skeleton rob the bank? He didn’t have the guts.
5. If you have no interest in banking, you’re not alone.
6. Why was the woodchopper arrested? He walked into a bank, pointed a stick at the ceiling, and shouted, “This is a stickup!”
7. If money talks, why do we need bank tellers?
8. When does it rain money? When there’s a “change” in the weather.
9. What did the comedian say when he walked into a bank? This is a stand-up.
10. A naked man robbed a bank. No one could recall his face.
11. A basketball player and a horse jockey just robbed a bank. Police are searching high and low for the culprits.
12. Why did the bank owner buy cows? To beef up security.
13. What do you call a man with pockets full of change? Headquarters.
14. Where do fish stash their cash? In the riverbank.
15. People who rob stores are bad, but robbing bakeries takes the cake!
16. What did the recluse tell the bank teller? “Leave me a loan.”
17. Why are Irish bankers so prosperous? Their capital’s always Dublin.
18. Why is a river wealthy? Because it has two banks.
19. Why do goalkeepers have so much money? They excel at saving.
20. My dad said to work until my bank account looks like a phone number—so I did. Current balance: $9.11.
21. I had an account with a bank at the North Pole, but they froze all my assets.
22. What did the nut say during the bank heist? “Give me all the cashew you have!”
23. What do you get when you mix a banker with a fish? A loan shark.
24. Why did the old man take raisins to the bank? He wanted to open a current account.
25. If money doesn’t grow on trees, why do banks have branches?
26. A criminal robbed a bank wearing a suit made of mirrors, but he turned himself in after taking time to reflect. The judge was lenient, as he saw much of himself in the young man.
27. My uncle claimed he had a fortune in a safe deposit box. He left me the key. I opened it to find a note that read: “Good things are ahead for you. Your lucky numbers are 6, 10, and 13.”
28. Why did the elderly lady put her money in the freezer? She wanted cold, hard cash.
29. I quit my bank job today. You could say I lost interest.
30. The bank must really love me; they keep telling me my loan is outstanding.
31. Why did the tightrope walker visit the bank? To check his balance.
32. Did you hear about the gold digger? They love leisurely walks to the Bank of America.
33. Chuck Norris doesn’t have a bank account. He just tells the bank how much he needs.
34. What did the bank teller say to the customer? “Bank you very much.”
35. What’s the most challenging part of being addicted to banking? The withdrawals.
36. What did the tree do when the bank closed? Opened its own branch.
37. Always borrow from a pessimist; they won’t expect it back.
38. Why did the banker kick the bucket? He cashed out.
39. Sign at the bank teller’s station: “To err is human; to forgive is not bank policy.”
40. What do fish use for money? Sand Dollars.
41. I went to the bank for a personal loan, but when they found out I wanted to be a rapper, they didn’t want to Post Malone.
42. What do you call a boy named John with a lot of money? Johnny Cash.

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Summary

This collection of over 40 bank jokes and puns showcases the humor found in everyday banking experiences. From clever quips about loans to silly anecdotes about tellers, these jokes are sure to bring a smile. Remember, laughter is the best currency!