My Fourth C-Section: The Easiest and the Hardest

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From the onset of my fourth pregnancy, we were aware that a cesarean delivery would be necessary. My first experience was an emergency C-section after a labor that stretched over 30 hours, resulting in a barely dilated cervix and a baby who wouldn’t budge. Accordingly, any future pregnancies would also lead to cesareans.

This time, my OB and a Maternal Fetal Medicine (MFM) specialist determined that our baby girl should arrive at 38 weeks due to my recent diagnosis of gestational diabetes. Despite altering my diet and becoming dependent on insulin, my blood sugar levels remained stubbornly high, and an ultrasound indicated concerning fluid levels.

Though the pregnancy was physically taxing, my husband and I felt more prepared and hopeful than ever. By the time the delivery approached, we had diapers, formula, and baby gear ready well in advance. My nesting instinct focused more on prepping my three older kids, my husband, and our kitchen rather than setting up a nursery. I knew the recovery from a C-section wouldn’t be easy, so it was crucial to prepare my children for the changes ahead and ensure that my husband could take charge of meals during my recovery.

My husband contributed in his own way, thinking of everything I hadn’t considered. He ordered clothes and baby supplies relentlessly, undoubtedly keeping many Amazon drivers busy. He recognized how important it was for me and the kids to be settled, and all he wanted was for me to be okay.

The surgery was scheduled for the day after my eldest son’s 9th birthday. He thought it was cool, but I was determined to ensure his special day wasn’t overshadowed by the baby’s arrival. I wanted to avoid any feelings of resentment from him, even if it was just my hormonal brain worrying.

In preparation, I orchestrated a surprise Stranger Things-themed party in our kitchen the week before his birthday. While it was a lot of work, I don’t regret it; it was a memorable celebration for him.

The Hardest Part

The hardest part of my fourth C-section? The guilt I felt toward my family. My instinct screamed at me to “GET UP AND TAKE CARE OF YOUR KIDS!” regardless of how sore I felt. I also felt similar guilt toward my husband; while he stepped up significantly after the baby’s arrival, it meant he was putting his own needs aside. He insists he wouldn’t have it any other way, but I still grapple with feelings of guilt. I yearned to help and return to my normal routine, but my body wasn’t ready yet.

Recovery from a C-section varies for everyone, often taking between two to six weeks to feel like yourself again, even when the physical pain subsides. Given that this was my fourth C-section, I braced for intense discomfort. I recalled the painful dual sensations of aching and burning at the incision site. I anticipated it would be worse this time, especially with scar tissue involved.

Surprisingly, although the pain was indeed intense, the recovery felt easier than ever. How could that be? The simplest explanation: I had learned how to manage my pain better.

I’m not trying to sugarcoat the reality of recovering from major surgery; it hurts like crazy! My abdomen throbbed, and every sneeze felt like an ordeal. However, I’ve learned three crucial strategies over the years regarding surgery recovery:

  1. Take the medicine.
  2. Walk it out.
  3. Ask for help.

While this may seem straightforward, it took me nearly a decade to fully embrace these concepts. The medication provided in the hospital can lead to constipation, but the ability to hold my baby without crying is worth it. I’ve come to accept that it’s okay to admit I’m not okay and to take the necessary medicine.

Walking for the first time after a cesarean is undoubtedly one of the toughest moments of recovery. However, delaying movement only prolongs healing. Plus, it alleviates gas pain and helps with constipation.

Asking for help is perhaps the most vital piece of advice I could offer anyone. As a mom, I used to think, “I can do it all,” but the reality is, I couldn’t. I have an incredibly supportive partner, but he can’t read my mind. Even as I feel better, I still ask my eldest to help carry laundry, my mom to reach items on high shelves, and I communicate my need for more rest to my husband.

I’m happy to report that our recovery has been smoother than I anticipated. I still have moments when my belly tenderness prevents me from standing for long or climbing stairs. My husband and kids also experience fatigue from extra responsibilities. Yet, as we navigate this transition to a family of six, I see everyone adopting new, helpful habits, which makes me proud.

Though my doctor advised against having any more children (and yes, we are heeding that advice!), we are managing this recovery as a family. This experience has undoubtedly been both the easiest and the hardest C-section journey I’ve encountered.

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Summary

In this reflective piece, I share my experiences surrounding my fourth C-section, detailing the mix of emotions, from guilt regarding family responsibilities to newfound insights on recovery. Despite the pain, I found that managing my recovery was easier this time, thanks to lessons learned over the years. As we adapt to being a family of six, I’m proud of how we’re navigating this transition together.

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