artificial insemination kit for humans
By: Mia Johnson
Date: July 2, 2021
“Alright, pull your knees up to your chest. It’s time for the butt strips!”
How did I end up here? Is this really my life?
Let me rewind to just two days ago when a chat with my friend revealed that she visits a salon every 4-6 weeks for a Brazilian wax. “You just lie there, completely exposed… for a STRANGER? But I haven’t done that since my college days!” She loves it, her husband loves it, and she’s been doing it for a decade. When she suggested I book an appointment, I instantly responded, “No way, I could never do that.” We both chuckled, but the wheels were already turning in my mind. Is this something women do? Moms, even?
In my mind, Brazilian waxes were for young, fit bikini models. Could a 40-year-old, plus-size mom of five really get one? Is this just for those with postpartum bodies, wobbly bits, and thighs that haven’t seen a bikini since toddlerhood? Should I give it a shot?
With my mind racing, I turned to Google. I began typing out my most ridiculous, anxiety-laden questions:
- “Can a larger person get a Brazilian wax?”
- “Can someone with a FUPA get a Brazilian wax?”
- “Will they ask me to move my FUPA during a Brazilian wax?”
- “What if I break the waxing table?”
- “Do you have to get on all fours during a Brazilian wax?”
- “What if I accidentally fart?”
And guess what? I learned that humans of all shapes and sizes get waxed daily—men, women, young, old—everyone! Many people include waxing in their regular hygiene routines. Reflecting on my own razor burn and ingrown hairs made my decision easier.
I quickly booked an appointment at a popular waxing chain for the next day. I knew I needed to act fast; otherwise, I would definitely back out. You only live once, right? So, why not experience having all my hair ripped out, while metaphorically leaving my dignity on the table?
Fast forward twelve hours, and I found myself sitting in the parking lot before my appointment.
What are you doing? Just drive away! They are going to laugh at you! This is going to HURT!
Deep breaths. I finally worked up the courage to enter the salon. I explained to the receptionist that I was a Brazilian waxing newbie. She greeted me with a huge smile and said, “Fantastic! This is going to change your life! You’ll leave here feeling like a new woman!”
I struggled to see how looking like a Sphynx cat could be life-altering, but I was up for the experience… I think.
A few minutes later, I was led to a waxing room by my new friend, Sarah. She reassured me that I had a perfectly normal body and that she sees dozens of vaginas and buttholes every day. She has seen it all. Her warm demeanor immediately put me at ease.
Time to disrobe and hop on the table, which thankfully did not collapse! Sarah patiently explained the process. When necessary, she asked me to assist by holding my skin taut or lifting my FUPA out of the way. Surprisingly, it wasn’t awkward at all, and I didn’t feel judged; nothing was as big of a deal as I had imagined. Also, to my relief, it wasn’t painful. I wouldn’t call the sensation of hair removal enjoyable, but it wasn’t exactly terrible either. The wax was warm and smooth, and Sarah took her time as we chatted about our summer plans. We even discovered we vacation at the same beach!
“Alright, pull your knees up to your chest; time for the butt strips!”
I covered my eyes with my hands, cringing. What if she sees parts of me that even my husband hasn’t? Okay, maybe back in our twenties when we were a bit wild. Am I REALLY going to let Sarah wax my butthole?
Yes, and surprisingly, it wasn’t bad at all. And guess what? I didn’t fart!
All done, I slipped my undies back on, feeling a bit bewildered by the whole experience. Back in the waiting area, the smiling receptionist asked, “Wasn’t it wonderful? Don’t you feel amazing?”
The entire appointment was over in less than 15 minutes, and everything had flown by. I suddenly felt sexy and clean—confident. I had an extra bounce in my step, a feeling I never expected from losing my pubic hair.
Will I do this again? Was the pain, humiliation, and anxiety worth it? Absolutely! I swiped my credit card for 12 more sessions. “See you in four weeks, Sarah! My new best friend!”
For those interested in similar experiences or topics, check out this post on home insemination kits, which can be a helpful resource for those navigating motherhood. Additionally, you can visit sites like Make A Mom for expert advice on insemination options or IVF Babble for rich resources on pregnancy and home insemination.
Search Queries:
- What is a Brazilian wax?
- Benefits of Brazilian waxing
- How to prepare for a Brazilian wax
- Aftercare for Brazilian wax
- Is Brazilian waxing painful?
In summary, my first experience with Brazilian waxing turned out to be surprisingly enjoyable. The initial fears and anxieties faded quickly as I realized it was a normal procedure that many people undergo. I left feeling refreshed, confident, and even excited to return for more sessions.