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My son always texts me when he’s headed home, and I start preparing dinner. A few weeks ago, as I was in the kitchen post-text, I heard a woman yelling. Since I hadn’t heard his car arrive, I was puzzled.
Peering out the window, I saw my son still sitting in his car while a woman from down the street shouted at him, her face flushed and her voice almost at a scream.
I heard my son acknowledge he was speeding and apologize. When I stepped outside to figure out what was happening, the woman quickly left.
After I spoke with my son, he admitted he was going too fast. “I was going 25, and she gestured for me to slow down,” he explained.
I told him he indeed needed to reduce his speed for safety’s sake.
However, I was bewildered by the intensity of her anger. I didn’t appreciate the way she screamed at my son, especially since he was looking her in the eye and apologizing.
When I conversed with the woman—who has no children—it became clear her fury stemmed from my son’s actions. I told her that while I agreed with her concern for safety, her tone was excessive.
This was their first interaction, and my son had never been flagged for speeding before. He mentioned she yelled the entire time.
If she had calmly said, “You were speeding, and I want you to be safe, so please slow down,” it would have resonated with him much more effectively than her yelling.
She rolled her eyes at me, clearly believing that children should submit to adults without question, expecting respect even when she wasn’t demonstrating any herself. It felt like she was frustrated because my son and I weren’t intimidated by her.
Most parents don’t mind when someone rightfully points out their child’s behavior. I’ve never shied away from admitting my kids can be difficult. They test boundaries, make mistakes, and are far from perfect.
However, that doesn’t mean I condone strangers or acquaintances disrespecting them or yelling at them. The days of demanding blind respect from children are long gone.
It’s unacceptable to communicate with them in a manner you wouldn’t want to be treated, simply because they’re younger. It’s not okay to become furious when they express themselves or stand up for themselves.
I refuse to stand by and watch anyone disrespect my children or act inappropriately just because they think they have authority. If I don’t advocate for my kids, they won’t learn to advocate for themselves. They would think the solution to aggressive behavior is to cower and let others walk over them.
My son is polite and avoids confrontation. While he acknowledged his mistake, he’s not perfect—and neither is anyone else. There needs to be more understanding regarding children and their errors.
This doesn’t mean there shouldn’t be consequences or discussions about their actions. And I assure you, being more understanding won’t lead to parents believing their children are infallible or that critics are out of touch.
It simply means treating kids with the same respect we expect when we make mistakes. Just because they’re children doesn’t mean they should be belittled or subjected to disrespect.
Feel free to try and treat them otherwise, but this generation of parents—especially this protective mom—won’t accept it.
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In summary, while I don’t believe my children are unique, I will not allow them to be disrespected by others. It’s vital to advocate for them and teach them to stand up for themselves.