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When my children were younger, our nightly routine revolved around brushing teeth, putting on pajamas, and curling up with a book or two. A bath was added every other night, and we often sang songs together.
Fast forward to now—my kids are 15 and 11, and bedtime has transformed completely. I now find myself yelling from my bed, urging them to brush their teeth while I’m still working on an article late into the night. The best part? My tween and teenager join me in bed, I set aside my laptop, and we dive into TikTok.
Yes, you read that right. TikTok.
Initially, like many in my generation, I was hesitant to join TikTok. The videos I saw on other social media platforms mainly featured teens doing dance challenges that, quite frankly, would probably result in me injuring myself. However, after hearing from friends that TikTok had something for everyone, I decided to give it a shot, especially after discovering “Lesbian TikTok” during a Twitter scroll.
So, I downloaded the app.
The TikTok algorithm quickly tuned in to my interests. I’m passionate about equality, a history enthusiast, a musician, and a writer. I enjoy dissecting complex social issues and am captivated by various fields like psychology and sociology. Plus, I can’t resist a cute video of a dog being adorably stubborn. My TikTok feed reflects all of this.
Before long, my kids began watching over my shoulder. Drawn in by the catchy tunes and succinct insights from social justice advocates and scientists, they soon settled in beside me to experience my curated TikTok feed.
They’d often nod at the content or ask, “Is that true?” leading us to deeper discussions. The videos on positive masculinity have been particularly enlightening for my son, who initially struggled with the idea that women might feel threatened by “all men.” After viewing several videos where men explained that women don’t mean literally “all men” but have to be cautious due to safety concerns, he grasped the concept. He also learned that remaining silent in the face of misogyny contributes to the problem.
Hearing these ideas articulated by others made him more open to understanding. I explained to him that I’m not offended when the term “white women” is used negatively because it acknowledges that I belong to a group that has systemic issues. It’s fair for people of color to be wary of me, and I accept that it’s my responsibility to earn their trust.
My daughter benefits from body positivity videos that reinforce her self-worth and emphasize that exercising should be about health and enjoyment rather than weight loss.
TikTok has been instrumental in educating my kids about current events and the histories of marginalized groups, including indigenous peoples, Black communities, and the queer population. Occasionally, we come across gentle parenting videos, and my kids recognize familiar techniques I’ve used, prompting them to ask, “Is that why you parent us like that?”
While I occasionally disagree with some videos—like one that suggested allowing tweens to shout at their parents without consequences—I used those moments to explain my perspective on respectful communication. My daughter acknowledged that my approach makes sense and reflects how I hope she will be treated by others in her life.
Of course, there are lighthearted videos featuring cute pets, talented singers, and impressive dancers mixed in with the more serious content.
The beauty of TikTok lies in its ability to spark conversations that I might otherwise overlook. Watching it together not only educates us but also strengthens our bond. When my kids are at their dad’s, I send them TikToks through our group chat, maintaining our connection even when we’re apart. During our time together, TikTok has become a staple of our bedtime routine. Each night, after brushing her teeth, my 11-year-old daughter climbs into bed with me, and we spend 15 to 20 minutes enjoying TikTok together. My 15-year-old son usually joins us a bit later, but we all share this special time for entertainment and education thanks to a social media app I once thought was for a younger generation.
Who would have thought that TikTok, the app I believed I was “too old” for, would enhance my relationship with my kids? What a time to be alive!
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Summary:
This article explores how TikTok has become an unexpected tool for parenting, enriching the bedtime routine of a mom and her two children. The app opens discussions around social issues, reinforces positive messages, and helps maintain connections even when the kids are away from home. It highlights the importance of adapting parenting methods to include current technology, using it as a means to educate and bond with children.