I Was a Teen Model — And I Wouldn’t Go Through That Again

Trigger warning: sexual assault

I began my modeling journey at the age of 17, a path I never envisioned for myself. However, when the chance arose, I seized it, motivated by the promise of a well-paying job that would help me save up to leave Poland.

My introduction to the modeling world was jarring. During my first agency meeting, I was asked to strip down to my underwear in front of strangers who critiqued my appearance, pointing out the aspects they deemed “flawed.” They described it as a routine evaluation, but I felt more like a commodity than a person. Unsurprisingly, I was told to lose weight.

If you’re not practically a skeleton, you’re considered too heavy.

Contrary to popular belief, modeling is far from an easy gig. While posing has its complexities, the real challenges arise from the industry’s unreasonable standards and its darker underbelly, which often goes unnoticed.

I was already on the lighter side when I signed with an agency, but the beauty standards of the 2010s were harsh. We were still entrenched in an era where the mantra “nothing tastes as good as skinny feels” prevailed. I suspect we haven’t completely moved on from that mindset. My contract even specified weight requirements, which raises questions about their legality. Eventually, I lost more weight, reaching around 100 pounds at a height of 5’8″. Despite being underweight, I was often labeled a “larger” model during auditions, with comments about my hips, thighs, and overall size regularly directed at me.

The environment was grim. Many of my fellow models survived on just an apple or two daily. Photoshoots, often lasting 12-14 hours, provided us with minimal sustenance—sometimes just a small salad or a piece of fruit, and if we were lucky, a plain slice of pizza.

The Dark Side of Modeling

While I didn’t relish the casting calls where I was critiqued by strangers, it was simply part of the job. I was fortunate to have a steady stream of work, mainly in commercial modeling—appearing in ads, product packaging, and catalogs—which felt safer compared to high fashion or lingerie modeling.

However, the industry is anything but fair or predictable, even for those signed with multiple agencies. Finding well-paying work is never assured. For every supermodel like Kate Moss or Karlie Kloss, countless others struggle and often fail.

This harsh reality leads some models to explore other avenues for income, sometimes stepping into prostitution. What begins as companionship or escorting can spiral into more troubling situations. Friends of mine who were sent to work in Asia faced numerous rejections at castings and sought alternative ways to earn a living. Sadly, they were often manipulated by individuals in the fashion realm who prey on young, attractive girls. While our agency didn’t encourage this behavior, it also didn’t condemn it, leaving it in a morally ambiguous space.

More Than Just Clothes Hangers

Alongside these unrealistic expectations and questionable practices, models frequently faced harassment, including groping and sexual assault. I encountered my share of unsettling experiences, and it seems this behavior arises from the perception that models are not seen as human beings. Instead, we are treated like glorified clothes hangers—objects to be admired, touched, and ultimately discarded when our looks fade.

While there may be a certain prestige in being a model, it often leads to worse treatment from men. They seemed to value the idea of me rather than me as a person, reducing me to an accessory to flaunt. And the stereotype that models are unintelligent is frustrating; many of us had ambitions beyond the runway, often saving our earnings to pursue education.

Reflecting on My Experience

After retiring from modeling at 23, I began to regain weight and, for the first time, feel healthy. However, the years of being told I was “fat” when I wasn’t took a toll on my self-image. I often find myself dissatisfied with my reflection, haunted by the negative comments I received about my appearance.

While I acknowledge that modeling provided financial support for my goals, I wouldn’t choose to go through it again. I believe I could have found healthier avenues to achieve my dreams. The industry exploits vulnerable girls, often minors, who enter without fully understanding the implications. It turns a blind eye to misconduct and fosters an environment that encourages eating disorders while neglecting models’ mental health concerns.

It’s hard to say whether the industry has changed since my time; it seems stuck in its ways. Now, in addition to looks, social media presence matters, with many agencies highlighting models’ follower counts. Although body positivity has gained traction, the demand for ultra-thin models persists, and many high-end brands still prioritize skeletal figures over diverse body types.

The toxicity of the fashion and modeling world needs more attention. We utilize young girls for their beauty, often damaging them in the process, only to discard them when that beauty fades. This cycle is unacceptable.

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Summary

The author reflects on their experience as a teen model, revealing the harsh realities of the industry, including unrealistic body standards, unhealthy practices, and the objectification of models. Despite the financial benefits, they express regret about their time in modeling, highlighting the need for change in how the fashion world treats young women.