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In March 2020, I withdrew from the outside world with a barely noticeable baby bump. I had just begun to share my pregnancy news at work and hadn’t even told all my friends. Fast forward over a year later, and I’m stepping back into society with an 11-month-old.
The journey into motherhood is a whirlwind of new experiences and challenges, often accompanied by feelings of solitude. This is especially true for mothers who gave birth during the pandemic. I missed out on the usual milestones, like having my belly admired or having friends meet my newborn. We skipped the shared stories that often bond new moms together.
“I really wished for that moment when someone would come up and rub my pregnant belly in the grocery store,” said Emma, a member of my new moms group. “Without those shared experiences, I found myself questioning how to fit into this mom community.”
Many of my friends with older children have shared tales of judgment, unsolicited advice, and the overwhelming opinions that come with motherhood. I had tried to prepare myself for that kind of scrutiny before becoming a parent, but it never materialized. My transition to motherhood happened in a bubble of isolation, free from public judgment. I breastfed without strangers’ eyes on me, and any advice I received was voluntary. Our weekly Zoom calls provided support, not judgment, as we navigated those early days.
While it was isolating, it also meant I could parent on my own terms. I didn’t have to worry about travel logistics or finding playgroups. Instead, I had the luxury of spending undistracted time with my newborn, fully engaged in the joy and challenges of those early months. It was just my husband, our daughter, and me—no need to rush or adhere to outside schedules.
As the pandemic starts to ease, I find myself feeling like a seasoned mom but also anxious about parenting in public. “There are so many little things to learn all at once,” said Lisa, whose baby is just a month older than mine. “I recently went to a restaurant for the first time with my daughter, and I had to navigate changing her on the bathroom table—all things we would have taken gradually if it weren’t for the pandemic.”
I too felt shy when interacting with my daughter in public. During a recent ice cream outing, I realized how few people had seen me engage with my baby. I found myself wondering if I looked like a competent mom and if others were judging my parenting skills.
“I think I’m experiencing a kind of late-onset imposter syndrome,” Emma admitted. “For so long, I did things my way without anyone around to question me. Now, with others back in the picture, I find myself second-guessing my choices. Am I doing this right?”
There’s a bittersweet feeling as I prepare to step out of this bubble. My daughter is growing, and soon she’ll start daycare—a reality I’ve been anticipating but also dreading. As we transition back to the world, I’m aware that things will become more complex.
Megan noted, “While there were certainly negatives to the pandemic, we’ve had the incredible privilege of spending so much time with our babies. Now that we’ve tasted that joy, it’s going to be hard to let it go.”
This weekend, we’ll embark on our first flight together to visit family in Boston, followed by another trip to Buffalo. Just before her first birthday, we’ll take a plane to Ireland. I’m tackling these adventures later than I initially planned, but amidst the struggles of the past year, I also cherish the time I’ve had with her, moving at a slower pace in our little world before diving back into the busier one.
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For more insights, you might search for:
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- Parenting advice during pandemics
- Managing motherhood in public
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- Building a support network as a new mom
Summary:
Parenting during the pandemic has brought unique challenges and joys, allowing for a more isolated yet personalized experience. As the world begins to open up, new moms like me feel both the excitement of re-engaging with society and the anxiety of public parenting. The transition is bittersweet, as we navigate the complexities of motherhood in a post-pandemic world.