artificial insemination kit for humans
I’ve always dated individuals who enjoyed a drink now and then. My previous partners liked to have an alcoholic beverage or two—perhaps a few more at parties or dinners with friends—but it never seemed like a significant issue, as we would simply take a cab or Uber home without much thought.
On my first date with Jake, the man I’ve fallen deeply in love with, he described himself as a social drinker. We talked about everything—our kids, favorite foods, past relationships—and the chemistry between us was undeniable. We both quickly became attached, feeling as though we were on the same wavelength.
However, after about six months of dating, I started noticing concerning patterns. Although he wouldn’t drink for months at a time, when he did, it often turned into binge drinking, leading to poor choices. I realized he was paying more attention to drink menus and would order new drinks before finishing the first. He’d skip meals, and even on hot days, he’d avoid water, seemingly focused on getting intoxicated.
Initially, when I brought this up to him, he dismissed my concerns, claiming there was no problem. He insisted that if he had an issue, he’d be drinking more frequently and alone. Unsure how to handle the situation, I felt increasingly anxious whenever he drank. He wasn’t aggressive or overtly drunk, but his behavior unsettled me. The thought of going out where he might drink kept me up at night, especially after I learned he had driven home after sharing a full bottle of liquor with a friend, believing he was fine to drive.
I made it clear that if he wanted to maintain our relationship, he needed to stop drinking and driving. He promised to do so, and I stopped drinking around him. Still, there were occasions when he would have six drinks while others had just one or two. He often wouldn’t call me after nights out, leaving me anxious and worried.
Recently, our staycation plans were thrown into chaos when he was arrested for OUI after going out for drinks with friends. He had reassured me he would limit himself to two drinks and call me, but he didn’t reach out until the next day after spending the night in jail.
These past few weeks have been tough. Jake has started therapy and admitted, “I have a problem. I didn’t want to acknowledge it, but I do. When I drink, I make terrible decisions.” Now, I find myself grappling with what to do next. My instincts tell me to leave because I struggle to trust him after he lied about drinking and driving.
While I want him to get sober for himself and his kids, I also recognize this needs to be his choice. I want to support him without becoming enmeshed in a codependent relationship. I fear I won’t handle things correctly—like if I don’t check in on his drinking, am I being naive?
I also worry that he might be saying what I want to hear so I won’t leave, and I’m haunted by the thought of him resenting me later if he feels pressured into sobriety. I’m aware that he’s made some positive changes—like throwing out alcohol and seeking help—but I’m still cautious.
I’ve talked to a friend who faced a similar situation, and she expressed relief for staying with her husband, as their bond grew stronger. Jake genuinely wants to improve his life, but I’m scared of getting hurt again. It’s so challenging to contemplate leaving someone I love, despite what others might say.
I also need to prioritize my own well-being. The turmoil surrounding his drinking has taken a toll on me, and I’m uncertain about the future. I feel trapped in a painful dilemma, torn between love and self-preservation.
If you’re navigating similar challenges, you might find helpful resources, such as this excellent guide on what to expect during your first IUI. Also, consider exploring fertility supplements for additional support.
For those seeking more information, you can explore related topics:
- Signs of Alcohol Dependency
- Coping with a Partner’s Addiction
- Healthy Relationships and Boundaries
- Understanding Substance Abuse
- Finding Support for Loved Ones
In summary, while I want to believe in Jake’s commitment to sobriety, I’m left grappling with my fears and uncertainties about our future together. It’s a painful yet crucial time for both of us.