Beard-tastic Humor: 55+ Jokes and Puns That Will Make You Chuckle!

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Ah, the majestic beard! Whether or not you sport one yourself, there’s no denying that this facial hair phenomenon is truly remarkable. Just think about how it frames a face or how many specialized products—from beard oils to festive beard ornaments—exist to celebrate it. If you share our appreciation for beards, you’ll also recognize their potential for humor. Beard jokes and puns are a rich source of comedy, and let’s be honest, hair-related humor often leads to some of the best punchlines.

So, if you’re a fan of bushy beards and clever wordplay, you’re in for a treat with these side-splitting jokes and puns.

Best Beard Jokes and Puns

1. What do you call a goat with a beard? A goatee.
2. What do you call someone who shaves 20 times a day yet still has a beard? A barber.
3. What’s an old and wise dragon? A bearded dragon.
4. Why don’t people with beards need a vacuum? They already have a crumb catcher on their faces.
5. What do you call a bald chemistry teacher with only a beard? Heisenberg.
6. What happened to the man who was unsure about growing a beard? It eventually grew on him.
7. Why did Penny keep shaving his beard? A penny shaved is a penny earned.
8. What did hipster Darth Vader say to his clean-shaven henchman? “I find your lack of beard disturbing!”
9. Where do people with beards store their beard clippings? Their shavings account.
10. My friend and I are in a beard-growing contest… It’s neck and neck right now.
11. What are a beard’s favorite nuts? Mustachios.
12. Why did the man sue the barber for touching his beard? He saw it as hairassment.
13. What did the bearded man name his pottery shop? Hairy Potter.
14. How many bearded men does it take to change a lightbulb? 10. One to do it and nine to compliment each other’s beards.
15. Why did the man with a receding hairline grow a beard? He was trying to plan a head.
16. Why did the man keep his beard perfect? Things would get a bit hairy otherwise.
17. Why did the astronaut grow a beard in space? He wanted spacial hair.
18. Why do people hate shaving off their beards? They’re naturally attached to them.
19. Why did the bearded man’s shaving business fail? Because of the razor-thin margins.
20. Why did the man who couldn’t grow a beard tape a rabbit to his face? He wanted the facial hare he always wanted.
21. Why did the bearded man skip the charity event? It was a fund razor.
22. What did the barber say after shaving the man’s beard? “All good things must comb to an end.”
23. What did the beard say after growing back? “I’ve been hair before!”
24. What did the man say before shaving his beard? “Hair goes nothing!”
25. Why was the man who grew his beard for a year scared of the barber? He was a hairbinger of doom!
26. Why did the bearded man sue the barber who secretly shaved his beard? He barbered a grudge against him.
27. Why did the bearded prince marry Rapunzel? He wanted a hairytale ending.
28. Why did the toy airplane land on the bearded man’s face? He had a strip on it.
29. Where are bearded prisoners sent? The Gilette-ine.
30. Why did the man intentionally get kicked in the face by a horse? He wanted a horseshoe mustache.
31. Why was the bearded man made sheriff? He had a gunslinger beard!
32. Why was Ivan Pavlov’s beard so soft? He conditioned it.
33. Why can’t Santa shave his beard? It’s in his Clause.
34. Why didn’t the barber ask about beards? He was shaving it for later.
35. What do a balding guy and a teenager growing a beard have in common? Every hair counts!
36. What’s a pirate’s favorite type of facial hair? A boatee.
37. What happened to the bearded clown after leaving the circus? He lost his stubble mode of income.
38. What did the fancy bearded goat order at the cafe? A goa-tea.
39. What is a bearded hipster’s least favorite basketball team? The Los Angeles Clippers.
40. Why did the friend who shaved lie? He’s a bald-faced liar.
41. Why did the bearded thief shave before robbing a bank? He wanted to be a smooth criminal.
42. Where does a beard enthusiast vacation? Shave-illa.
43. Where do beard stylists buy their products? A Shaven Eleven.
44. Why did the teen get a grooming kit for his birthday? It was his shaventeenth birthday.
45. Why did the unlucky bearded man shave? Because fortune favors the shave!
46. Why couldn’t the man with the thick beard find out why it was itchy? He couldn’t get to the root of it.
47. Why did the man help his friends trim their facial hair? Shearing is caring.
48. What did the hipster tell his chef friend with a beard? “You ought to shavour every bite!”
49. Who helped Obi Wan’s beard? Darth Braider.
50. Who trims a rabbit’s beard? A haredresser.
51. Why are beards and mustaches on bad terms? They can’t gel with each other.
52. Why are beards so polite? Because they’re well-groomed.
53. What does every poet with a mustache dream of? Facial hair like Shakes-beard.
54. Why did the barber keep shaving the lion’s fur? It was his mane source of income.
55. What did Black Beard’s doctor charge him? A buccaneer!

Beards have a unique charm that brings joy and laughter, making them the perfect subject for humor. If you’re looking for more informative content on home insemination, check out this resource that offers valuable insights. Additionally, Make a Mom is a great authority on fertility topics. For those interested in pregnancy and home insemination, IVF Babble is an excellent resource.

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In summary, beard humor is a delightful way to appreciate this unique aspect of personal grooming. From clever puns to witty one-liners, these jokes are sure to bring a smile to anyone who enjoys a good laugh about facial hair.