From The Confessional: It’s Not a Vacation, It’s a Trip — Here’s Why

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When you hear the word “vacation,” it conjures up images of bliss, right? Picture a serene cabin in the mountains, a few peaceful days at the beach, or the thrill of exploring Disney. You might imagine laughter, beautiful photos, and a well-deserved break. But if you’re a parent, that notion of a vacation quickly fades. What you’re really embarking on is a “trip”—an expensive endeavor that often leaves you more drained than before you left. And if you’re really lucky, you might even have to deal with your in-laws, who will undoubtedly micromanage everything and complain about your kids’ behavior. What a joy!

So, if your idea of a family getaway involves burning through cash, arguing with your partner, and counting down the minutes until the kids finally sleep—except this time, it’s all happening in a different location—congratulations, you’re on a family vacation! Isn’t parenthood wonderful?

My mother is already pestering us about a large family trip for next summer. Honestly, trips with them are just too stressful. We’re planning to go to Disney and spend enough money to avoid any squabbling or paranoia about the kids being near water while we keep an eye on them!

Confessions of a Family Vacation

Confession #1: My sister-in-law is pushing hard for a joint vacation this summer. Sorry, but I can’t stand her entitled attitude, her husband is incredibly dull, and their kids are just unbearable—NOT.GOING.TO.HAPPEN!

Confession #2: Our first big family vacation will include my family, my husband, our kids, my parents, my sister and her boyfriend, and my brother. It’s bound to be a disaster because my mom is such a control freak that she’s making it miserable for everyone. We’re taking our kids and doing our own thing for the rest of the trip.

Confession #3: It’s been a relief not seeing my sister-in-law and brother-in-law during COVID, but now that things are opening up, my sister-in-law is desperate to get together and is insisting on a vacation—HARD PASS! I’d rather endure a root canal than spend a week with them.

Confession #4: Vacationing with your own family is tiring enough, but throw in the extended family, and you start questioning all your life choices.

Confession #5: We’re planning a big family trip, praying that my teenage stepdaughter doesn’t come along—she would make it her mission to act like a spoiled brat and ruin everything while FaceTiming her mother the whole time.

Confession #6: I’m downing wine alone on this “family vacation” because my stepdaughter will throw a fit if her dad spends time with me instead of her. It’s sad that he’s in the middle of it all, but I’m done pretending it’s okay just because she’s a kid. Poor guy can’t win.

Confession #7: After getting vaccinated, I forgot how dreadful vacations with kids (3 and 12) can be. I really only want to travel with my husband from now on. Dealing with a sleepless toddler and a whiny tween is too much.

Confession #8: When they’re little and draining, you might (foolishly) assume that trips will improve as they grow older. FALSE. Teenagers are just as whiny, but now they’re also more expensive.

Confession #9: Vacation is ending tomorrow, and my husband’s time off coincided with mine, ruining it for me. I needed a day or two alone to recharge. I feel completely drained.

Confession #10: I stopped cleaning a month ago, hoping someone would pitch in. Nope! Now I’m spending my vacation day cleaning out of frustration because no one else does anything. And my husband expects me to mow the lawn today? Haha, no thanks.

Confession #11: Just two days before we head out, my husband asks what else we can do besides sit on the beach. Why is he bringing this up now? He might as well stay home; my daughter and I could go and have a blast without him.

And if it’s not your kids making your vacation anything but relaxing, it’s your partner. Why can’t moms catch a break? I don’t want to go on vacation with the kids. I want to unwind, dammit.

Confession #12: Parents should automatically be granted a second, child-free vacation right after returning from a trip with their kids.

Confession #13: I swear, one of my kids gets sick either the night before or the very first night of every vacation we’ve planned—there goes our Fourth of July. Ugh!

The harsh reality is that if you truly need to relax, you might want someone else to take care of your kids. While vacationing may create fun memories and tons of cute pictures and souvenirs they begged you for, it offers zero rest. Like, absolutely none.

I’ll never vacation with girlfriends again. Locations filled with superficial attractions and people having phony experiences? No thanks.

Confession #14: Here we are again, paying equal amounts for the vacation rental, but we’re stuck with the pull-out couch. How is that fair?

Confession #15: I’m 30, and nearly every camping trip or vacation I’ve ever had has coincided with my period! Why is that?

Confession #16: So far, edibles are the only thing keeping me sane during this “vacation.”

There are also other issues to deal with—getting stuck on an uncomfortable pull-out couch, dealing with your period, or navigating the drama from “friends” who make you feel like you’re back in middle school. None of this aligns with the dream vacation you envisioned.

Yet, we still endure it all because we cherish the joy on our kids’ faces when they meet Disney princesses, ride the waves at the beach, or snuggle up in a tent in the mountains. Sure, we might have to tolerate sightseeing the Grand Canyon with our annoying in-laws, but we’ll rest when the kids are grown and Grandma can’t come along anymore. Until then, better pack those edibles!

For more insights on navigating parenthood and family trips, check out this blog post on home insemination and for more information on related topics, visit Make a Mom. If you’re looking for resources on pregnancy and home insemination, this site is an excellent place to start.

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In summary, vacations with kids often turn into exhausting trips filled with stressors you didn’t sign up for. Whether it’s the kids, your partner, or the extended family, the relaxation you envisioned may be elusive. Still, the joy on your children’s faces can make it worthwhile—at least until the next trip rolls around.