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My friends and I were catching up over a weekend Zoom call, which naturally led to venting about the challenges of juggling family life with everything else. “Ladies, we need to plan a weekend escape. No partners, no kids—just us!” I suggested.
The response was swift and unanimous: YES! After a year of being cooped up at home, we were all craving a break. With summer approaching and vaccinations completed, a mini vacation felt like just what we needed. We envisioned sipping wine, laughing late into the night, singing karaoke, and enjoying the freedom of a full night’s sleep without a toddler waking us at 6 a.m. Thus began our planning for a well-deserved getaway for four moms in dire need of rest and rejuvenation.
A few weeks later, we hopped back on Zoom with another friend, Lisa, who had missed the previous call. She had recently welcomed her first child and mentioned she would be visiting her parents for a month, seeking some help with the baby. We filled her in on our girls’ trip, not expecting her to join us. To our surprise, she enthusiastically wanted to come along—though she planned to bring her baby.
Cue the awkward silence. How do you inform a new mom that her baby isn’t welcome? I stepped up and explained to Lisa that we had intended this trip as a kids-free getaway, a chance to escape reality. We love our children, but we were looking forward to unwinding and returning home as the best versions of ourselves. I sincerely apologized but reiterated that having a baby there would go against the original plan.
Lisa’s disappointment was evident as she replied, “Oh! I thought you were all excited to meet the baby…” We quickly reassured her that we couldn’t wait to meet her little one and were thrilled she would be in town. We just wanted the opportunity for a proper introduction at a more fitting time. I emphasized that our need for a break was genuine, and part of that was enjoying a couple of days without the sounds of crying and fussing. It felt like a reasonable request.
Before becoming a mom, Lisa had always been adventurous and never missed a good time. So, it must have been surprising for her to hear that we were suggesting she could not join the fun due to her baby. But we had envisioned this trip as a chance for moms to let loose without any child-related concerns. Every mom deserves a break!
Later, I told Lisa, “Don’t worry. In a few years, you’ll understand why this kid-free trip meant so much to us.”
About a week later, Lisa proposed a compromise: she wouldn’t stay overnight at our hotel but would join us during the day with the baby. I had to decline this plan again, reminding her that we wanted a strictly kids-free getaway. As much as we cherished her and her family, the essence of our trip was to focus on ourselves and enjoy an unencumbered experience.
After that chat, it seemed Lisa processed her initial disappointment and ultimately decided to leave the baby with her parents, joining us for the entire day. And that’s exactly what happened!
The day of our trip arrived, with the first group of ladies heading to the resort on Friday. Lisa joined us Saturday morning, and we indulged in a leisurely lunch, explored a scenic hike, and took a refreshing swim. It was a blast!
As we walked back to our suite, I remarked, “How could we have had so much fun with a six-month-old in tow?” Lisa responded, “Well, I saw a woman with her baby at the pool…” (clearly still grappling with some mom guilt). I pointed out that the woman was accompanied by her husband and another child, indicating it was a family outing. Mom guilt can be tough, but to care for others, you must first care for yourself, right?
Our lovely day culminated in a delightful dinner where we spent hours chatting, laughing, and enjoying each other’s company. Back at our suite, we dove into karaoke and games. If we had a baby with us, we likely would have had to leave the restaurant early, and Lisa wouldn’t have been able to fully engage in our fun-filled activities.
Lisa ended up staying the night with us and departed Sunday morning. In the end, it was a win-win situation. We all enjoyed ourselves and left the getaway feeling refreshed, ready to embrace our kids once more.
I never anticipated being in the delicate position of telling a friend that her baby couldn’t attend our gathering. It’s a sensitive subject, and rightly so! What I took away from this experience is the importance of establishing boundaries. Rather than feeling guilty about one person wanting to bring a baby against the original plan, reinforcing our boundaries allowed all of us to relax and enjoy a stress-free weekend away.
So, go ahead and plan that mom trip. Don’t feel guilty for prioritizing what you and your friends need to be the best moms you can be!
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Summary of the Article:
In this article, Mia Thompson shares her experience of planning a much-needed girls’ getaway with friends, only to face the challenge of a friend wanting to bring her baby along. Despite the initial awkwardness, Mia emphasizes the importance of setting boundaries and the need for moms to take breaks. Ultimately, the trip goes smoothly, reinforcing the idea that caring for oneself is essential for being a better parent.
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Blog Post, Mom Trip, Girls’ Getaway, Parenting, Boundaries, Self-Care