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I can hardly believe school is starting again in just a week. This summer has flown by, and now I find myself busy labeling school supplies, cleaning backpacks, and attending orientations. My inbox is overflowing with emails about bus schedules, policy updates, and reminders. The carefree days of summer are quickly giving way to another round of pandemic schooling.
In previous years, I was very hands-on, closely monitoring my kids’ academic progress and regularly communicating with their teachers. However, this year, I’ve decided to take a different approach. After everything we’ve experienced over the past year and a half, I realize that what matters most is my children’s mental health and overall happiness. This school year, my focus will be on ensuring my kids are genuinely okay, rather than stressing about academics that don’t truly define their worth.
We’ve all faced significant challenges. From juggling online learning to navigating confusing mask mandates and losing extracurricular activities, it’s been overwhelming for everyone. Educators, many of whom are parents themselves, have become the unsung heroes during this tumultuous time, even as they were thrust into unexpected chaos.
The remote learning experience has shown many parents just how tough teaching can be. Teachers are often stretched too thin and deserve our respect and understanding. We caught a glimpse of the challenges they face, and for many of us, it was enough to make us reconsider the role we never signed up for.
With this newfound perspective, I want to emphasize a vital message to fellow parents: let’s ease off. Our children’s knowledge and test scores are not what define their success. They have not fallen behind, and there’s no need to rush them to catch up. Who are they behind, anyway? We must extend grace to our kids, who have gone through a traumatic experience, and remember that their teachers need our empathy and support as well.
I truly hope this pandemic has taught us that the most crucial aspect of our children’s lives is their mental, emotional, and physical health. They should learn that rest is more important than grades and that social interactions matter more than perfect assignments. We need to model these values for them, encouraging them to do their best while providing support without pushing them to the brink. Striving for excellence shouldn’t come at the cost of their wellbeing.
I know some of you may be thinking that this approach is easier for younger children, but I understand the pressures faced by older kids too. As a former college educator, I’ve witnessed students who struggled when their parents and teachers constantly catered to their every need. Life after high school is important, but if we only prepare them academically, we risk failing them. Many students have faced mental health challenges due to overwhelming pressure.
Kids of all ages need to feel that their whole selves are valued. Their health isn’t solely determined by their academic performance. I’ve seen brilliant students break down under pressure from parents and society, and I believe we must prioritize their overall wellness over just grades.
By easing up and significantly scaling back our expectations, we’re teaching our kids to do the same. Ignoring the emotional toll of pandemic schooling is not healthy or helpful. Many of us feel that weight daily—frustration, confusion, anger, and heartbreak. If we are experiencing these emotions, our children should be allowed to express theirs, especially while adapting to new learning environments.
This pandemic has required us to be more flexible than ever, which can be a positive change. But constantly pushing ourselves and our children to do more, while demanding the same from teachers, is not sustainable. What if we collectively agreed that it’s okay to do the bare minimum at times? Allowing space for creativity and rest can be beneficial for everyone.
I hope that, despite the challenges, this school year is memorable and joyful for my kids—and yours too. I want them to learn to honor their whole selves, listen to their bodies, and recognize that their grades aren’t nearly as significant as their wellbeing. This is a lesson we can all embrace if we lead by example.
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In summary, I’m shifting my focus this school year from academic pressures to prioritizing my kids’ overall wellbeing. We’ve all faced significant challenges recently, and it’s more important than ever to support our children emotionally, recognizing that their mental health is just as crucial as their academic performance.