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As I held my infant daughter against my chest in the emergency room, wires tangled across her tiny form, I fought to suppress the panic rising within me. Her skin had taken on a blue-gray tint, and I could see the tears pooling in her swollen eyes, which were filled with a deep, haunting emptiness. I reminded myself repeatedly that she was stable now—that she would stay with me. If I said it enough, perhaps it would become true.
The doctor’s arrival brought back memories of a similar moment from years prior when I learned that my first child would not return home with me. This time, the conversation revolved around diabetes, a diabetic coma, and references to Nick Jonas to provide some semblance of hope. I remember spiraling into despair, grappling with the statistics that haunted me about my daughter’s chances of leading a normal life.
Fortunately, my daughter was not diabetic, as was initially feared. The frightening episode was caused by the flu, confirmed later that day. After a week of consultations with specialists and a stay in the Pediatric Intensive Care Unit, we finally returned home. Yet, the flu had taken its toll, stealing months of normalcy from my child.
Two years later, the flu struck again, leaving her unable to walk. I still vividly recall her calm demeanor as she informed us that her legs wouldn’t cooperate, a moment that plunged us into another week of hospital visits.
Throughout the pandemic, I have grit my teeth each time someone downplayed COVID-19 by comparing it to the flu. I felt anger towards those who proudly claimed to avoid vaccinations, spreading misinformation that endangers vulnerable children like mine. My daughter has faced severe threats from the flu, making the statistics about pediatric flu deaths painfully personal. Every number represents a child with dreams and aspirations—and I fear one day it might be my daughter.
My family has always prioritized flu vaccinations, understanding that they serve as a protective barrier not only for us but also for my daughter. Our hope is that, ideally, everyone would do the same to create a safer environment for all children.
However, this pandemic has revealed a troubling reality: many people seem indifferent to protecting others. In Florida, where I reside, COVID-19 cases have surged alarmingly, with pediatric hospitalizations hitting new highs. Our local pediatricians have issued urgent calls for vaccinations as children are being hospitalized at an alarming rate.
As my children prepare to return to school, I have made the difficult decision to withdraw them from in-person classes and enroll them in a statewide virtual program. This choice, a privilege I know many do not have, is made with the knowledge that my children are too young to be vaccinated. Each day, I wake up with a heavy heart, worried about the families who might soon face unimaginable loss.
The burden on our healthcare workers is immense, and I worry about their long-term wellbeing as they shoulder the consequences of our collective choices. As protests against public health measures escalate, I am left wondering what it will take for people to prioritize the well-being of our community over their personal beliefs.
When my children are finally eligible for vaccinations, will enough others choose to protect their children, too? Or will I once again find myself in an emergency room, watching my child fight for her life against a preventable illness? The weight of these fears is overwhelming, and I struggle to accept this reality.
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In summary, the decision to keep my children home this school year is rooted in a deep concern for their safety amid a pandemic that has shown a troubling lack of community care. My experiences with illness have shaped my perspective on the importance of protecting one another, especially vulnerable children.