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When we think of the 1940s, our thoughts often drift to World War II, even if we weren’t there to experience it. With the war concluding in 1945, Americans shifted their focus to everyday life, embracing trends like finger waves and Victory Rolls. The introduction of Tupperware marked a culinary revolution, and George de Mestral was busy perfecting Velcro, forever changing our approach to fastening items.
In 1948, Lillian Eichler Watson’s influential work, “The Standard Book of Etiquette,” was republished, raising the standards for etiquette. While many aspects of politeness remain relevant, the definition of “good manners” has transformed over the decades. Let’s explore Watson’s advice and how it resonates (or doesn’t) in our current context.
For instance, when asked whether it’s inappropriate for a woman to knit during a lecture, Watson replied, “It is discourteous to the lecturer.” While she makes a fair point about distractions, contemporary figures like Olympic diver Tom Daley have showcased that knitting can be a means of focus, especially for some neurodiverse individuals, a perspective that Watson didn’t acknowledge.
Another example is her assertion that “a responsible person” should answer the phone, not a maid or a small child. This reflects a bygone era of class and privilege that feels outdated today. It’s essential to pick up the phone ourselves, regardless of our status, rather than relying on others to manage our communications.
Watson also suggested making light conversation to fill awkward silences after introductions. Her advice to let discussions “flow where they will” seems almost prophetic in today’s context, where conversations can veer into unexpected and fascinating territories, like discussing conspiracy theories or the existence of cryptids.
When it comes to holiday greetings, she noted that sending an inappropriate card to someone facing hardships is unkind. While thoughtful card selection remains important, it’s also essential to spread joy rather than reminders of misfortune.
Watson highlighted that “unselfish, considerate behavior” is crucial for being a well-liked guest. This remains true as we balance social visits with genuine connections, whether we are spending time with vibrant friends or those who are lonely and in need of companionship.
Lastly, her mention of men carrying canes is a humorous nod to outdated fashion norms. Today, personal style is about self-expression, and there’s no harm in adding flair to one’s outfit.
“The Standard Book of Etiquette” emphasizes the importance of maintaining politeness, even in a changing society. Although Watson might not have envisioned our modern world filled with diverse expressions and styles, the essence of good manners still prevails.
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In summary, Lillian Watson’s etiquette guide serves as a fascinating glimpse into a past era, while also illuminating how our understanding of good manners has evolved. While some of her notions may feel outdated, the underlying principles of kindness and respect continue to thrive in our modern world.