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Recently, I enjoyed dinner with a few friends who couldn’t stop talking about a show called “White Lotus.” They insisted it’s a must-watch, and I should dive into it. They also urged me to check out “Mare of Easttown” once I was done with that one.
I assured them I would start it that night. However, when I got home and turned on the TV, I found myself gravitating toward a show I had previously shared with my late partner. It was a series we had followed from its very first episode. Unfortunately, as his health declined, he was unable to finish it, and since his passing, I’ve re-watched it more times than I’d care to admit.
It wasn’t until a fellow widow in my support group mentioned she had started re-watching a sitcom that the connection clicked for me. I realized that my choice wasn’t merely about being too lazy to search for something new. Instead, pressing play on a familiar show represents a form of nostalgia. It offers comfort, a sense of predictability and certainty that life after loss often lacks, especially as a solo parent during a global pandemic. In many ways, it acts as a time machine.
The Nostalgia Factor
Merriam-Webster defines nostalgia as “the state of being homesick.” I’ve learned that home transcends physical space; it’s the person who makes you feel safe and seen. For a long time, my home was my partner. His passing left a void, but when I escape into an old show, I can almost forget that my sense of home is gone.
The Comfort Aspect
I know I’m not alone in seeking solace in familiar shows. Psychologist Melissa Grant explains that revisiting the same entertainment can affirm a sense of order in the world, creating a primal feeling of safety and comfort. Since losing my partner, one of my biggest challenges has been finding any order amidst chaos. For twenty-two minutes during an old sitcom, I feel that sense of stability.
The Predictability and Certainty
Watching these shows again is a journey through familiarity. The first time I experienced them, they were fresh and new. On subsequent viewings, I noticed details I had overlooked. But now, having watched these series countless times, I know exactly what to expect. This predictability is a precious gift, especially in a world fraught with uncertainty.
The Time Machine Effect
Grief has significantly impacted my ability to engage with new forms of entertainment. Reading new books or starting new shows has become challenging. But re-watching old favorites feels like reconnecting with an old friend, allowing me to step back into a time I cherished.
Living in the past isn’t where I need to be, but revisiting those familiar shows allows me to embrace the person I was back then. I loved that life, and I didn’t want to lose it. In moments when I need comfort, I can temporarily don the identity of who I used to be.
Maybe one day I’ll venture to watch “White Lotus” or “Mare of Easttown,” but for now, I find solace in what I know. As I navigate solo parenting and the challenges of today’s world, I am grateful for the comfort found in re-watching beloved shows.
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