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As an advocate for LGBTQIA+ rights and education, I recently assisted a teacher eager to implement inclusive practices in her school. She wanted to ensure her classroom was a safe space for all students, especially those who identify as queer. I appreciated her commitment and assured her I could help. I shared some of my training methods and emphasized a few key points: staff would learn actionable strategies for engaging with students, they would gain insights into their own identities to better understand their students, and yes, they would inevitably make mistakes along the way.
Her reaction was a blend of concern and relief. “Mistakes are part of the learning process,” I reassured her. “I’m here to help you establish better practices, not to chase after the ‘best’.”
I explained that while striving for improvement is essential, aiming for an elusive notion of ‘best’ can hinder growth and openness. My goal in diversity and inclusion training is to guide people toward becoming better, fostering systems that enhance the current state. However, the quest for the ‘best’ can lead to stagnation.
The term “best” implies a level of perfection that is often unattainable. When we reach for it, we risk becoming complacent, blind to the ongoing changes and nuances that define our society. The pursuit of perfection can leave us behind, much like the once-revolutionary BlackBerry.
LGBTQIA+ issues are complex, and narrowing them down to a set of “best practices” oversimplifies the diverse experiences within the community. While there are general guidelines for creating inclusive environments, it’s crucial to remain adaptable, changing our language and approaches as needed. I encourage my clients to prioritize accountability and a continual desire to learn over the pursuit of perfection.
By focusing on better practices, we commit ourselves to an ongoing journey of growth and understanding. This mindset applies universally — whether in personal development or professional settings. Once we reach the summit of our current goals, new challenges arise, demanding further exploration and deeper conversations. The idea of “best practices” only reflects the current understanding and can become obsolete as society evolves.
Consider transportation; if we had settled for the wagon as the ultimate form of travel, we would have missed out on countless innovations. Similarly, my personal achievements — from deadlifting to perfecting my mac and cheese recipe — are all about continuous improvement.
Fostering better relationships means acknowledging that neither party will be perfect. Committing to open dialogue and honesty is vital, even if the relationship isn’t at its best at the moment. Are we working towards improvement, or are we measuring our experiences against an unrealistic standard of ‘best’?
In parenting, I remind myself that every child is unique, and what works for one may not work for another. I aim to be a better parent rather than a perfect one. When frustrations arise, I reflect on the positive strides I’ve made and focus on gradual improvements rather than unattainable perfection.
Whether in our careers or personal lives, today’s best practices may not be relevant tomorrow. We must remain flexible and ready to adapt, understanding that our needs and circumstances are always changing. Embracing the idea of being ‘better’ instead of ‘best’ allows us to keep striving for growth without the pressure of perfection.
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Summary
The pursuit of perfection can hinder growth and understanding, especially when addressing complex issues like LGBTQIA+ inclusivity. Instead of aiming for “best” practices, we should focus on becoming “better” through continual improvement and adaptability. This mindset applies to all areas of life, promoting flexibility and grace in our relationships and personal development.