Building a Connection with My Tween Through Reading

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Reading has always been an enjoyable part of my day and a significant way to bond with my children. We carve out quality moments while on car rides, sharing meals, or engaging in games. However, nothing beats the tranquility and comfort of cuddling up with a book together.

My twins are currently 8, and my eldest is 10. I’ve been reading to them since they were infants, and our home is filled with a delightful assortment of board books, picture books, chapter books, and graphic novels. When reading to the twins, I try to find stories that cater to their similar yet unique interests, which sometimes requires a bit of negotiation. My eldest daughter and I have been through numerous book series together, but I’ve noticed a shift recently as my kids start to explore reading independently.

While I cherish our nightly story sessions, I find myself missing that shared experience on nights when they choose to read alone. I miss the laughter and chatter that fills the room, but I also feel a sense of pride in their growing independence. During those independent reading nights, I typically immerse myself in my own book. However, after a conversation with my eldest, I decided to dive into the books she was enjoying, joining her in our cozy reading space.

Recently, my 10-year-old expressed excitement about starting the Warriors book series, which I had suggested weeks earlier. Although I initially assumed we would read them together, she quickly clarified that she wanted to tackle them solo. While a bit disappointed, I was thrilled that she was branching out and told her so.

Halfway through the first book, her enthusiasm was palpable as she wanted to share the plot with me. “You can read it too!” she exclaimed, realizing it could reignite our connection. Although I was hesitant about dedicating my reading time to feral cats, I recognized the importance of engaging with her interests. So I quickly downloaded the book and listened to it while cooking and at bedtime, and when we read the second book together, she held the physical copy while I followed along with the audiobook.

It became clear how much it meant to her that I was able to discuss the book, even if we approached it separately. I’ve done something similar with my twins, diving into titles like Diary of a Wimpy Kid and Phoebe and her Unicorn, even if they weren’t on my must-read list. As I maintain my routine of reading to them regularly, this new approach keeps our bonding time alive.

I know there will come a day when they prefer a simple goodnight hug and may feel embarrassed by my interest in their reading choices. While I won’t impose myself too much, I will seek ways to connect through literature for as long as they allow it. I may not snoop through their journals or personal notes, but I’ll certainly find ways to stay engaged with their evolving interests, perhaps by skimming the books they choose, even if they’re school assignments. I hope to keep the door open for shared conversations about stories that matter to them.

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In summary, fostering a connection with my tween through shared reading has been a rewarding journey. As they grow, I adapt to their changing interests while finding ways to engage with them. Our reading traditions may evolve, but the bond we create through stories remains strong.