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After a recent minor surgery, I returned home to find my living space in disarray. Dirty socks lay strewn across a stool, and multiple pairs of large shoes cluttered the kitchen. The blender and air fryer were on the countertop, surrounded by sticky puddles, and the sink overflowed with unwashed dishes.
Before heading to the hospital, I had thoroughly tidied up, run the dishwasher, and tackled the laundry to make my recovery period as smooth as possible. I guess I was naive to think my son would take the initiative to put away the clean dishes and load the dirty ones into the dishwasher, despite knowing I’d be in the hospital.
The throw pillows from the couch were tossed on the floor (I’d rather not know why), and I found a pile of his gym clothes on the dining table. When he finally came downstairs, he barely acknowledged me. No “How did it go?” Instead, he informed me of his plans for the day, grabbed his keys, and left the house with music blasting.
If I had the energy, I would have run outside to confront him about his blatant inconsideration. My boyfriend even offered to step in, but I decided to address it with my son later.
Once my other two children returned home, they greeted me warmly and offered to help, shifting my focus away from my frustration. After a conversation with my older son, along with input from my ex-husband, he apologized and promised to improve.
Despite being 18, I realize there’s still much work to be done. My son can be quite self-absorbed, absentminded, and so focused on his own priorities that he often overlooks the feelings of others. It’s disheartening because he used to be so empathetic, always concerned about how others felt.
I’m unsure if it’s the hormones or if he’s simply chosen to prioritize himself since hitting puberty, but it seems to be a combination of both. To those around him, including me, he often comes off as rude, short-tempered, and indifferent. He tends to forget about others who are struggling, and his lack of compassion is glaring.
What’s interesting is that shaming him for this behavior deeply affects him. He becomes quiet, his cheeks flush, and he makes a genuine effort to improve for a while. But then he slips back into his own world. As he edges closer to adulthood, I sometimes feel overwhelmed. He walks past his brother without holding the door, forgets to wish siblings a happy birthday, and fails to apologize when bumping into someone in public.
Yet, I refuse to give up. It’s my responsibility to guide him away from these problematic behaviors. This involves constant reminders, lengthy discussions, and doing my best to help him see that the world extends far beyond his immediate concerns.
This journey is exhausting, and I often question my parenting choices, wondering if I’ve somehow contributed to his selfishness. While I can’t control his every action, I’m committed to working on minimizing his inconsiderate tendencies for as long as it takes.
Many parents can relate to the goal of raising kind-hearted children. To those who feel like they are constantly battling to ensure their child behaves respectfully, I stand with you. This is undoubtedly the most challenging work I’ve ever undertaken.
For those interested in more supportive resources for parenting and family, you might find useful information on the topic of home insemination at this blog post, or check out the comprehensive guides available at Make a Mom. For further insights, UCSF’s Center offers excellent resources regarding pregnancy and home insemination.
Summary
Navigating the challenges of parenting, especially when it comes to instilling kindness and consideration in teenagers, can be exhausting. As a mother, the author reflects on her struggles with her son’s self-absorbed behavior and her commitment to raising a respectful child. Despite the frustrations, she remains dedicated to guiding him toward empathy and awareness of others, understanding that this journey is ongoing.
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