Ask Home Insemination Kit: Is It Wrong to Teach My Child to Fight Back?

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Welcome to Home Insemination Kit’s advice section, where our team tackles your queries about parenting, relationships, and all the confounding aspects of life.

This week’s dilemma: When another child strikes your kid, should you encourage them to speak up or teach them to defend themselves?

Dear Home Insemination Kit,

Just two weeks into the school year (my son is in kindergarten), and he tells me that another child has been hitting him “in the head” while waiting for the bus. From what I gather, it was completely unprovoked, and eventually, a teacher intervened and told the other child to keep his hands to himself. My question is: Is it acceptable to teach my son to hit back? I believe there’s nothing wrong with that. I want him to know not to initiate violence, but if someone hits him, he should respond in kind. However, my partner disagrees. He thinks we should encourage our son to inform a teacher. What should we do?

My take on this might not be the most popular, but I think you’re onto something. While hitting is never okay without a reason, if someone strikes your son as described, I believe it’s not just permissible to retaliate, but it might actually be the best option available.

I approach this from the perspective of someone who was often bullied for being labeled an “easy target.” While my parents didn’t intend to harm me, that label didn’t help either. I didn’t retaliate; I either reported the bullies or remained passive. But you know what happens when you tell? You earn the reputation of a “narc,” and that only invites more trouble. If you take the peaceful route and don’t respond, bullies often see that as weakness and tend to target you more.

Sure, it’s completely natural to feel hesitant about confrontation, but lacking the confidence to stand up for myself only made my situation worse. Your son doesn’t need to master martial arts, but teaching him to assert himself with a firm shove and a clear, “Don’t EVER touch me again!” could be really effective. Is it easy? No. Does it come naturally? Not at all. But with consistent reinforcement and some role-playing practice, he can learn to stand up for himself.

This is the approach I’m taking with my own child, and it’s what I wish I had learned when I was younger. Prepare him now so he builds the confidence he needs as he grows up. If he gets into trouble, share my advice with his teachers—I’ll gladly take responsibility. I may have been timid as a child, but now I’m proud to be outspoken. Just remember, it gets better!

Best of luck, and give your son a big hug from me.

If you’re interested in more supportive resources about parenting, check out this excellent guide on the IVF process, which can provide valuable insights into family planning and related topics. Also, for more information on home insemination kits, visit our friends at Cryobaby.

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Summary:

In this advice column, a parent grapples with whether to teach their child to retaliate against a bully or to report the incident to a teacher. The response emphasizes the importance of standing up for oneself while balancing the need for non-violence. Practical tips, personal experiences, and resources for further reading on related topics are shared.