I Grew Up With My Grandparents and Wished for a Community Like Bridge Meadows

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I spent my childhood in a large, two-story brown house nestled in the outskirts of Eastern Long Island, about two hours from New York City. As I grew older, I often heard strangers remark, “You resemble your dad,” or “Your mom is lovely.” What those strangers didn’t realize—and what I felt too embarrassed to clarify—was that the individuals they assumed were my parents were actually my maternal grandparents. I was raised by my mother’s parents because my biological parents were too young and lost in their own lives to care for me.

My grandparents took on the role of my caregivers, and they remained responsible for my upbringing until I moved into my first apartment during my junior year of college. Like countless other children across the United States, I was entirely raised by my grandparents. Families can fracture for various reasons, including incarceration, addiction, or neglect, leaving children in precarious situations. Some end up in foster care, while others, like my siblings and me, are taken in by relatives through kinship guardianship or adoption.

My grandparents were exactly the guardians I needed. They provided for me financially and instilled values that I cherish to this day. Even though I didn’t recognize it as a child, they faced their own struggles to keep a roof over my head. We frequently relocated in search of job opportunities and to escape my mother’s erratic behavior fueled by her crack cocaine addiction; each move was a fresh start in a new place.

Communities like Bridge Meadows would have been a blessing for us. So, what is Bridge Meadows? It’s a network of housing developments dedicated to improving the lives of children and their caregivers, particularly those in multigenerational families like mine. Currently situated in Portland and Beaverton, Oregon, with plans for expansion, these communities support families in need.

As stated on their website, Bridge Meadows “develops and sustains intentional, intergenerational communities for youth formerly in foster care, adoptive families, and elders, building place, permanence, and shared social purpose one community at a time.” Reading this filled me with both sadness and hope. Bridge Meadows offers a nurturing environment for caregivers to raise their children while also facilitating healing for kids and families who have endured the trauma of foster care.

From personal experience, I can attest that even with loving and supportive grandparents, I still faced trauma due to my parents’ absence. I had to navigate their emotional turmoil whenever they were around. Trauma affects many families, even those that seem to have it all together. Bridge Meadows provides essential healing, support, and kinship for families, something every family could benefit from.

Research from 2010 revealed that 1 in 14 children were being raised by their grandparents, totaling around 5.4 million kids—an increase from 4.7 million in 2005. The study noted that over half of these children were primarily cared for by a grandparent who took on most of their basic needs. These numbers highlight a significant and growing need for support.

Multigenerational families often struggle with issues our society fails to adequately address, such as proper rehabilitation for substance abuse, like that faced by my parents, affordable housing, and educational opportunities for both children and caregivers. Bridge Meadows is stepping in to bridge this gap, offering crucial support that many families need.

Communities like these embody the saying “it takes a village” to raise a child. They provide more than just housing; they offer hope to families navigating nontraditional dynamics. In my own journey, I’ve learned that the only dependable community is the one we build ourselves. Not only was I raised by my grandparents, but I’m also now the guardian of my half-brother, who came into my care nearly fifteen years ago. He has taught me the essence of nurturing, and I’ve come to realize how vital a supportive community is for both his well-being and my own sanity.

Parenting is challenging, especially in nontraditional households, but communities like Bridge Meadows offer much-needed support for families. As someone who has experienced multigenerational family life firsthand, I would love to see more initiatives like this across the country. We owe it to the grandparents who are stepping up to fulfill roles that their own children cannot.

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Summary

The article discusses the author’s experience of being raised by her grandparents and the challenges faced by multigenerational families. It highlights the need for community support, exemplified by Bridge Meadows, which provides housing and resources for families with children who have experienced foster care. The author emphasizes the importance of creating supportive communities for children and caregivers dealing with trauma and nontraditional family dynamics.