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Ask Home Insemination Kit: My Partner Wants to Drive His Daughter to Practice — At Our Son’s Expense
by Maria Wilson
Ask Home Insemination Kit is our advice column, where our team of “experts” answers all your questions about life, love, body image, friendships, parenting, and anything else that may be puzzling you. This week: How do you handle a scheduling conflict with your partner?
Dear Home Insemination Kit,
I found the advice you provided about the teenage daughter helping out around the house while visiting her dad to be quite insightful. My partner has a 13-year-old daughter from a previous relationship, and I adore her. Together, we have three kids aged 10, 8, and 6, which keeps us on our toes with after-school activities and sports.
Our daughter stays with us every other weekend (four days a month) and occasionally on Wednesday nights, depending on her school commitments. This year, her mom has asked my partner to drive her to and from cheerleading practice twice a week, on Wednesdays and Thursdays when she works late. My partner agreed, saying it was ‘no trouble’ and ‘close to home,’ but in reality, it is causing problems. Now, we need someone to take our 8-year-old to his Lacrosse practices, and it seems like the only solution is for one of our other kids to quit their activities due to the scheduling clash. I haven’t been able to find an alternative ride for him.
I feel that my stepdaughter’s mom should manage her own schedule, especially since one of the days isn’t part of the custody agreement, so all kids can participate in their activities. However, she argues that as a single mom, she sometimes needs extra help and should be able to rely on my partner.
My partner is unwilling to discuss this. He insists on taking his daughter to practices regardless of how it impacts our son. I’m feeling really frustrated and resentful, and I could use an outside perspective. What do you think?
It seems to me that this situation is less about the convenience of the arrangement and more about your partner wanting to be there for his daughter, both literally and figuratively. Four days a month is not much time for a dad to connect with his child, so I understand why he’s committed to driving her to cheerleading practice. Those car rides can be invaluable for building a relationship.
That said, I can also see why you’re feeling resentful. It may feel as though he’s prioritizing his daughter over your son, which is understandably difficult to accept. However, if you try to view your partner as a father striving to support all his children equally, it could ease your feelings somewhat. After all, he spends every day with your son, which allows for more bonding opportunities. With his daughter, he must make the most of the limited time he has — and right now, that happens to involve cheerleading transportation.
It’s essential to communicate your feelings to your partner honestly, without coming from a place of resentment. Let him know you recognize his desire to help his daughter, but that it creates a practical issue for your son that you need his assistance in solving. Present it as a partnership instead of an accusation, and you might find a more positive response. You could also consider various carpooling apps and resources to facilitate getting your son to practice.
Additionally, keep in mind how important it is for your stepdaughter to have time with her dad. She’s at an age where parental involvement is crucial, and although she might not consciously realize it, his presence makes a difference. If adjusting your schedule or finding a ride for your son means giving her that support, it might be a small price to pay for both her and your partner.
If you’re interested in learning more about home insemination options, be sure to check out this excellent resource on pregnancy and home insemination. You can also explore more options at Make a Mom.
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Summary:
This article discusses the challenges faced by a mother when her partner prioritizes driving his daughter to cheerleading practice, impacting their son’s Lacrosse schedule. The advice emphasizes understanding and communication, suggesting that reframing the situation could lead to better solutions for the family dynamics involved.