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One of my acquaintances recently tied the knot for the second time. Her wedding was breathtaking: a beautiful white gown, an elegant veil, and bridesmaids who looked stunning. Despite being smaller due to COVID restrictions, she spent more on this ceremony than her first one. The reception was lavish, filled with exquisite food, and they partied into the night. This summer, she even hosted a larger celebration for those who missed the initial event.
While I’m happy for her, I felt no desire to plan something similar for myself. After nearly two decades of marriage, my own journey ended. We shared a great life, but we mutually agreed that our love had faded, and it was impacting our children. My wedding day was truly magical; in my 20s, I dreamed of the perfect ceremony and worked tirelessly to make it happen, from financing to organizing every detail.
Even now, we remain a family in many ways, co-parenting effectively and enjoying a friendship. My partner, Ryan, has expressed a desire to marry someday—he even mentioned it while we watched a wedding from a distance recently. However, I am not inclined to walk down that aisle again.
Years have passed since my divorce, and my relationship with Ryan has blossomed into something meaningful. Friends and family often ask why we haven’t married yet, throwing out questions like, “Don’t you want to share your life with someone?” or “Aren’t you too old to just call him your boyfriend?”
But I believe I’m already sharing my life with someone special. A piece of paper or a ring isn’t necessary for that. And frankly, you’re never too old to choose your own path—whether that means having a boyfriend, multiple partners, or living solo.
As for throwing a wedding, I would rather eat pig’s feet than deal with the expenses, effort, and planning involved. At this point in my life, a party won’t make my relationship any more valid.
I value my independence and the freedom to exit a relationship without the burden of financial and emotional complications that can arise from divorce. I have experienced that once and don’t wish to do it again. Some people believe my divorce dimmed my spark, but I see it as a wake-up call. Relationships can end, and nothing is guaranteed. When my ex and I said our vows, we genuinely believed we would last forever, and realizing that wasn’t true was more painful than separating.
Despite this, I’m not bitter. I feel more content and clear-headed than ever. Choosing not to remarry doesn’t equate to a lack of belief in love or happiness. Many couples desire marriage to celebrate their bond, and I respect that tradition but don’t see it as a fit for me.
There’s a common misconception that all women, especially those who are divorced, yearn for marriage again. That’s simply not the case for everyone. Some of us feel we’ve already experienced that chapter and don’t require a wedding to validate our strong partnership.
Of course, I remain open to change—I might rethink my stance one day—but for now, I’m happy and fulfilled in my relationship, and that’s more than enough.
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Summary
Not every divorced woman desires to remarry, as illustrated by Jessica’s contentment in her current relationship without the need for a wedding. While others may celebrate marriage, she values her independence and has learned from her past experiences. She remains open to the future but is currently satisfied with her life as it is.