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After spending fifteen years married and eighteen years together, my partner and I decided to part ways. For a long time, our relationship thrived; we raised three wonderful children and enjoyed a relatively drama-free life. Arguments were rare. However, as time went on, we found ourselves increasingly irritated with each other. Recognizing the growing distance between us, we chose to end our marriage before things escalated further.
This decision didn’t happen overnight; it was the result of six years of attempting to rekindle our love and spark. Ultimately, we wanted to end things on a positive note while we still shared a foundation of friendship, respect, and compassion. This approach has been incredibly beneficial for our co-parenting journey, and we both feel fortunate to maintain such a healthy relationship.
However, it can also complicate the process of moving on. It’s often easier to sever ties with someone who has committed unforgivable acts or is primarily to blame for the relationship issues. But that wasn’t our situation. We both made mistakes along the way, yet the core of our separation stemmed from growing apart. We still loved each other, but we no longer felt the need to be together. Sometimes, love simply fades without dramatic confrontations or bitter endings.
When I first heard Kacey Musgraves’ song “Star-Crossed,” it resonated deeply with my experience; it felt as if she penned it just for me. Of course, she didn’t, but there’s something magical about connecting with a song that seems to reflect your own journey. The chorus struck a chord with me:
“What have we done?
Did we fly too high just to get burned by the sun?
No one’s to blame
‘Cause we called all the angels to save us
Called them by name
But I guess they got lost
Star-crossed”
Musgraves explained to Elle that the song narrates a story of two people who care for each other yet find it impossible to be together, as it’s simply not in their stars. This idea can be challenging for many; we often believe we should endure relationships, sacrificing our happiness until we reach a breaking point.
But as Musgraves poignantly sings, “No one’s to blame.” The entire album, which consists of fifteen tracks that chronicle her own divorce from ex-husband Ruston Kelly, is profoundly moving. Regardless of whether you’re navigating heartbreak, divorce, or enjoying a peaceful phase in life, her voice evokes a wide range of emotions; it’s raw, compelling, and undeniably heartfelt.
Her performance of “Star-Crossed” at the VMAs this year was stunning—it left me speechless. If you missed it, stop everything and watch it now. This is one of those songs that will linger in your thoughts for a long time.
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