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Not too long ago, there was a buzz around a reality show called “Virgin Diaries,” which featured a couple who were not just waiting for marriage but hadn’t even shared a kiss during their courtship. They were saving every moment for the altar, and when that moment arrived, it was filmed for viewers to see. Frankly, it was both cringe-worthy and bewildering.
The ceremony’s climax came when the couple finally kissed, but rather than being a romantic highlight, it quickly turned into an awkward display. The bride dove into the moment with an intensity that was, frankly, alarming. While I commend the groom for not flinching away from her enthusiasm, it was hard to watch. My own first kiss was much more charming, occurring during a moonlit stroll after a pizza party, with no cameras to capture my adolescent awkwardness.
I have to wonder why anyone would want to have their first kiss broadcasted to the world. The reactions from viewers varied widely—some were entertained, while others, like myself, were left mortified. What struck me most was not just the awkwardness of their kiss but the realization that they were on completely different wavelengths when it came to intimacy. The bride was jubilant, proclaiming the kiss was worth the wait, while the groom seemed utterly bewildered by the experience.
As a mother, I know societal norms often dictate that I should promote chastity. However, I believe it’s essential for my sons to have multiple (safe) sexual experiences before they say “I do.” Understanding one’s own body and desires is an important part of growing up. Sure, solo exploration, such as masturbation, is one way to learn, but engaging with another person opens up a different realm of discovery. It’s not just about what feels good; it’s about understanding who you are in an intimate context.
Think about the idea of saving yourself for marriage. What if that first experience is a letdown? Many people spend years dreaming about their ideal wedding and the magical night that follows. But what if the reality of that night is disappointing? It’s a significant risk to enter marriage without any previous experience, hoping for compatibility in bed.
The truth is, being a virgin on your wedding night can lead to a lot of unmet expectations. What if the chemistry isn’t there? What if you discover that your partner’s desires clash with your own? There are countless ways intimacy can go wrong, and I believe it’s better for my sons to explore and learn about their preferences before making such a huge commitment.
While I don’t openly discuss this with them daily, I want them to discover who they are and what they enjoy before they walk down the aisle. After all, what if they never marry? Should they then live celibately forever?
Of all my concerns for their futures, worrying about their sexual experiences is not high on my list. However, I do want them to find healthy and fulfilling love in their lives. Different people have different definitions of love, and ultimately, that’s what we all want for our children.
For further insights on this topic, you can check out other related posts, such as this one. If you’re considering home insemination, Make a Mom’s guide is an excellent resource. You can also find more information on fertility treatments here.
Summary:
This article discusses the importance of sexual exploration before marriage. It critiques the societal expectations of chastity, sharing the author’s belief that experiencing intimacy is vital for understanding oneself and building a healthy relationship. The author encourages their sons to engage in safe sexual experiences to discover their preferences and identities before committing to marriage, emphasizing that knowing oneself is crucial for future happiness.