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In today’s fast-paced world, our worth seems to hinge on our productivity—measured not just by hours worked but by how quickly we can exhaust ourselves compared to our peers. Being busy has become a badge of honor, with a lack of free time often flaunted as a status symbol. The traditional 9-to-5 work model has evolved into an always-on mindset, where responding to an email at midnight feels like a solution to our stress, when in reality, it rarely is. This has created a relentless cycle of work, anxiety, and a skewed sense of self-worth tied to our earnings and job titles.
The pandemic has only intensified this anxiety, forcing many of us to juggle work with family life in ways that leave us feeling overwhelmed. We’re yearning for moments of peace, solitude, and vacations. Yet when we finally seize those opportunities for relaxation, we often find it difficult to truly savor them.
A significant part of this struggle stems from our perception of self-care and leisure. Guilt often creeps in, and we end up missing valuable chances to recharge. Research indicates that in 2018, 55% of individuals with vacation time didn’t utilize it fully. It’s essential that we discover what best helps us unwind, as prioritizing our mental and physical well-being is crucial for everyone. Personally, I had to shed the mindset of “shoulds” to focus on what genuinely nurtures me.
Taking time out of my workday for exercise, a haircut, therapy, or conversations with friends might seem superfluous against the backdrop of tasks I believe I should be completing. However, these moments of self-care actually leave me feeling more at ease and refreshed. This mentality often extends to my time off; by the third day of a vacation, I can find myself feeling pressured to stay active instead of simply enjoying the downtime.
Research by Dr. Clara Jennings and Dr. Martin Lang suggests that we tend to curate experiences that we perceive as productive, turning our downtime into a series of “collectible experiences.” This inclination, while fueling exciting adventures and memorable moments, can also provoke stress—contradicting our desire to escape it. As economist Daniel Hamermesh notes, “Our ability to purchase and enjoy goods and services has risen much more rapidly than the amount of time available for us to enjoy them.”
In the U.S., where paid time off is scarce, we often feel the need to maximize every second of our vacations. The excitement leading up to a trip, coupled with the fear of missing out while there, can distort our appreciation of our free time, especially when we compare our experiences to curated social media posts from others.
For some, time off can be more taxing than the daily grind. I, too, have felt this pressure; I thrive on routine and predictability. The return to work can feel overwhelming as I grapple with a backlog of tasks post-break. However, I’ve begun to recognize downtime as a crucial element in achieving my goals rather than a diversion from them.
Studies reveal that those who view downtime as unproductive, even if it doesn’t interfere with their aspirations, tend to experience greater unhappiness, stress, and anxiety. But what’s the purpose of work if we cannot find joy beyond our jobs? How can we be as productive as we aspire to be if we struggle to appreciate other vital aspects of our lives?
To counteract this productivity-focused mindset, Dr. Clara Jennings suggests adopting a more expansive view of life and reflecting on potential long-term regrets. This shift can help us embrace the present and enhance our enjoyment of leisure through mindfulness. Additionally, finding a “functional alibi”—a personal justification for indulging in leisure—can free us from guilt, allowing us to fully embrace relaxation. If a lengthy vacation isn’t feasible, consider incorporating small daily joys that simply make you happy. Not every moment needs to bear the weight of significance.
While it may seem like a mental workout to fully engage in a Netflix binge or a weekend retreat, consistently reminding ourselves that we deserve downtime can help us appreciate all our time—not just the hours spent laboring.
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Summary:
Our current approach to downtime often leads to stress rather than relaxation, as we feel pressured to make every moment productive. Recognizing the value of true leisure and shifting our mindset can help us find joy outside of work.