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As someone who doesn’t fit into conventional size categories, I have some critiques of the mainstream body positivity movement. Too often, the content that gains traction focuses on reassuring already conventionally attractive individuals—often white and cisgender—about their perceived flaws. A significant portion of the dialogue revolves around average-sized people showing off their bodies just to remind others they’re not as “fat” as they think, which is frustrating.
Originally rooted in the fat liberation movement of the 1960s, body positivity intersects with feminism and racial justice. The movement’s goal is to uplift marginalized bodies, fight for equitable treatment, and reshape the narrative around health and fatness. Unfortunately, those who stand to gain the most from these discussions are often left out.
Men, in particular, can feel excluded from the conversation about body positivity. While it’s clear that women face harsher societal beauty standards, men also grapple with their own challenges regarding body image. Licensed professional counselor and body positivity advocate Alex Reed, MA, LPC, uses his platform to highlight these issues and promote mental wellness through body acceptance.
“There’s a lot of body positivity on social media, but much of it is driven by individuals with thin privilege,” Alex notes. He acknowledges that while he sometimes benefits from this privilege, his mid-size frame gives him a unique perspective on the body judgment experienced by those in larger bodies—especially when it comes to finding clothes.
“Shopping for clothes can be a daunting task,” Alex shares. “I often find myself in the middle—my size isn’t straight-sized, but I’m not large either. It’s a challenge to find clothes that fit well without feeling like I’m wearing something too baggy or too tight.”
As a former high school athlete and theater enthusiast, Alex faced his own body image struggles. He remembers being told he’d land lead roles in theater if he just lost weight. “Coaches were quick to judge my body over my athletic skills,” he reflects.
Growing up, Alex experienced a lack of support at home regarding his body image. “My family often criticized my appearance without providing the tools to help me change it,” he explains. This led to feelings of shame without any real empowerment to improve his relationship with his body.
“The first step in my journey was to mend my relationship with food,” he says. He emphasizes the importance of not using food as a coping mechanism, as it can lead to confusion and unhealthy patterns.
Alex is candid about his experiences of feeling unworthy in his body, regardless of how slim he became. “Even at a 32-inch waist, I still found flaws,” he recalls. “I was often told that boys don’t suffer from eating disorders, which made my struggle feel isolating.”
This lack of understanding within his family about male body image issues is why Alex is dedicated to sharing his insights from a male perspective. “Body positivity isn’t just a women’s issue; men have their own struggles that may manifest differently,” he asserts.
As a member of the queer community, Alex also observes how body negativity can be perpetuated in these spaces. “The standards of attractiveness often mimic superhero ideals, which are unrealistic for most,” he explains.
He advocates for embracing one’s body as it is, emphasizing that wanting to change your body should come from a place of self-love rather than a desire for acceptance. “It’s not worth compromising your health to fit into societal ideals,” he states, reminding readers that genetics play a significant role in body shape.
In the body positivity conversation, Alex is careful to amplify women’s voices while also carving out space for men. “Women have been pivotal in driving this movement forward, and it’s vital to celebrate that,” he affirms. “However, it’s equally important to recognize that men need representation in this space too.”
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In summary, while the body positivity movement is often seen as primarily a women’s issue, it is crucial to recognize that men also face significant challenges regarding body image and acceptance. Counselors like Alex Reed highlight the need for inclusivity in this dialogue, emphasizing that everyone deserves to feel good in their own skin.