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As a mother of three, I never expected to feel lonely. In those early days of motherhood, I felt overwhelmed and would often ignore calls or avoid social interactions. I even remember retreating upstairs with my kids when unexpected visitors arrived.
Yet, I was indeed lonely — more often than I cared to admit. I rarely confided in anyone except my then-partner, who I believed was too busy to notice my struggles. I was missing his companionship, but we had agreed that I would leave my job to care for the children. He would suggest I enjoy a girls’ night out, but I was always too fatigued. Going to Target alone felt like a guilt trip, as I thought about the family time I longed for while he worked long hours.
I felt undeserving of my loneliness because I was the one isolating myself from the world. It took me a while to understand that exhaustion was the root of my feelings. Moms often put everyone else’s needs ahead of their own, leading to feelings of isolation and resentment—a tough cycle to break.
After speaking with several other mothers, I realized I wasn’t alone in my loneliness, and I shouldn’t feel guilty about it. Now that my children are older and less present at home, I recognize that my loneliness often arises from not feeling valued or seen rather than from lacking a social life. It’s a personal responsibility to address these feelings, as no one can read my mind and alleviate my loneliness.
In the wake of the COVID-19 pandemic, many of us are feeling lonelier than ever. We’re juggling our daily responsibilities while trying to provide a sense of normalcy for our kids, all while missing the interactions that once brought us joy. A survey by the American Osteopathic Association found that 72% of Americans experience loneliness at times, which is a staggering statistic.
So, what can we do to combat loneliness?
Dr. Sarah Lawson, a family medicine professor at a local university, shared with us that our reliance on technology might be a significant contributor. She suggests occasionally disconnecting from our devices, as the online connections we forge can’t replace face-to-face interactions.
While Dr. Lawson doesn’t advocate for completely abandoning our phones, she emphasizes the importance of nurturing personal connections. One effective way to do this is by joining groups or classes that align with your interests.
Additionally, Dr. Lawson encourages us to connect with nature. A simple hike or walk outdoors can significantly boost your mood. There have been numerous moments when I felt rejuvenated simply by appreciating the beauty of the outdoors, which we often overlook.
It’s crucial to remember that you’re not alone. I felt a wave of relief when a friend shared her story of feeling isolated despite being surrounded by family. Sharing experiences and emotions can validate your feelings and remind you that many others are in the same boat.
Psychiatrist Dr. Judith Orloff highlights the importance of self-connection. Slowing down and engaging in activities you enjoy, even if it’s solo, can help you reconnect with yourself. Simple pleasures, like enjoying a long bath, can help combat loneliness.
The University of Chicago suggests jotting down cherished memories and listing things you are grateful for when feelings of loneliness arise. Other effective strategies include volunteering, performing acts of kindness, or even considering pet ownership.
While bouts of loneliness are part of life, taking proactive steps can help alleviate these feelings. Instead of dwelling in isolation, why not try going for a walk, calling a friend, or signing up to volunteer at a local event? These actions can uplift your spirits and combat feelings of loneliness. If you find yourself struggling with persistent feelings of sadness, reaching out to a mental health professional can be beneficial.
In Summary
Feeling lonely is a common experience, but there are numerous ways to address it. From fostering connections with others to appreciating the world around us, taking action can lead to a brighter outlook.