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When my partner was expecting our twins, we frequently heard comments like, “OMG, I’ve always wanted twins!” or “Twins are double the blessing!” These remarks often came from people without twins who either didn’t have kids or had forgotten the realities of parenting. The truth is, having two of any child—whether twins or not—doesn’t mean parenting is any cheaper or easier.
Fortunately, we had friends who were also twin parents, and they kept it real: Twins are incredibly challenging. Their advice was simple but powerful: just get through the first year and lower your expectations. Rather than getting swept up in the idea of perfectly matching outfits, we focused on the reality of our situation. Raising twins is hard work, but it’s worth it. Glamorous? Absolutely not.
We were in the process of renovating our home to prepare for baby #2 when we learned my partner was pregnant again. A quick ultrasound revealed we’d need space for two more babies. Even before they arrived, our twins were already complicating our lives. So, we made a new plan, sold our house, and moved into a new one just across the street—right as the twins came home from the hospital. It’s been over eight years, and there are still boxes in the basement that remain unpacked. We were simply too busy adjusting to life with twins to worry about anything beyond the essentials.
And by essentials, I mean we needed two of everything: cribs, car seats, bottles, diapers—if a baby needed it, we had to double it. While we had some leftover items from our daughter, who was a toddler when the twins were born, we had to start fresh for many things, especially clothing. My twins were each just under six pounds at birth, so the clothes we had from our daughter, who was born over eight pounds, didn’t fit for the first few months. Thankfully, we received plenty of hand-me-downs and were grateful for anything that was functional and affordable. If the twins happened to wear similar pajamas on any given day, it was likely by chance. Our focus was on being clean, not cute.
Navigating the daily needs of twins is like preparing for an Olympic event. If you’ve never changed, bathed, or fed two babies simultaneously—or even in quick succession—then you can’t fully appreciate how much more daunting it is compared to just one child. This isn’t to downplay the challenges of raising a single child; that’s hard too! But managing twins pushed me into a level of exhaustion I never experienced with my first child.
When both children reach developmental milestones at the same time, it can feel overwhelming. Take teething, for example. It wasn’t just the crying and sleepless nights; it was also runny noses, extra laundry, and clingy babies—all while I was sleep-deprived. Add self-feeding, walking, and potty training into the mix, and it’s easy to see why I often felt like a zombie. There were definitely joyful moments during this journey, and we took many photos to capture their adorableness. But these moments often came with an underlying sense of struggle.
My partner and I have been navigating the challenges of raising twins alongside their older sister. They may not have always matched or embodied the idealized version of twin life, but they were definitely happy, fed, and loved. We even managed to leave the house, which felt akin to orchestrating a three-ring circus.
Things have become a bit easier as my twins have grown older. Now at eight, they can get themselves ready in the morning, shower, and even engage in imaginative play that keeps them occupied for hours. However, there are still two of them, which means double the paperwork at school, conflicting sports schedules, and different interests. We have to prepare for twice the seasonal gear, and when the weather suddenly changes, instead of just one child complaining about their jacket not fitting, it’s two. We help them navigate friendships and allow them time together, but it’s not always smooth sailing.
With their growth comes a fair amount of chaos. My twins are best friends and often feed off each other’s energy, which can feel like a hurricane blowing through our home. They leave a trail of destruction in their wake, only to calm down at night when it’s time to brush their teeth and settle in for bed. Life with twins is not for the faint-hearted.
While my twins are loud and exhausting, they have also brought a unique kind of joy to our lives. Even amidst the chaos, I wouldn’t trade our mismatched, lively existence for anything.
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In summary, while twins can be incredibly cute, the reality of raising them involves a lot of hard work and chaos. It’s a journey filled with ups and downs, but ultimately, it’s rewarding.