artificial insemination kit for humans
For me, drifting off to sleep and staying asleep feels like an endless task. I find myself lying there, gazing at the glowing stars my kids insist on keeping on until they finally doze off. Once they’re asleep, I switch off the twinkling blue lights and attempt to fall asleep again, but it’s no use. Like the children’s book advises, I tell myself to “Go the F**K to Sleep.” Insomnia has struck once more.
By the fourth night of this struggle, I’m so fatigued that I give in and take a Xanax. While it does help, I’m wary of becoming reliant on it. Like many mothers, my bouts of insomnia began during pregnancy. I tossed and turned, trying to find comfort with my growing belly while expecting twins. After they arrived, I managed the sleepless nights of constant feedings and gassiness like a pro. Now that my daughters are older, interruptions from nightmares, bathroom trips, and cuddle requests plague my sleep, alongside good old insomnia.
According to the Office of Women’s Health, one in four women experiences insomnia. Primary insomnia is categorized as a sleep disorder, and while a doctor can diagnose it, they will first check for any underlying medical issues that might be contributing. There’s also secondary insomnia, which occurs alongside other health conditions like depression, anxiety, PTSD, gastrointestinal disorders, and more. Those with insomnia are ten times more likely to experience depression and seventeen times more likely to struggle with anxiety. I’ve been diagnosed with mild depression and anxiety, hence the Xanax.
The Sleep Foundation suggests that “older adults”—which I guess includes me since I’m in the age range of 26 to 64—need seven to nine hours of sleep each night. Approaching 40, studies indicate that women in this age group tend to experience chronic insomnia more frequently than men.
Seriously, I’m in bed by 10:00 p.m. after binge-watching “The Office,” and I’m ready to sleep … sometimes even by 9:45 p.m. Typically, my partner and I go to bed together. As soon as her head hits the pillow, she begins to snore. Could she be the reason I can’t sleep? Not really, as I’ve been able to drown out her snores thanks to our white noise machine. The funny thing is, I can’t identify one specific worry or thought keeping me awake. Nothing.
After I kiss my daughters goodnight and express my love for them, I reflect on all the blessings in my life—my kids, the ability to wake up each day, job security, and so much more. I try to calm my mind and release any stress from the day. I toss and turn, hoping that perhaps a new position on my left side instead of my right will be the magic solution rather than my Xanax. I even try lying on my back; nothing helps. Counting down from ten? Nope, that doesn’t work either.
Perhaps it’s the apprehension of what the night will bring. I know my youngest daughter will eventually come to our room complaining that her bed is uncomfortable. Inevitably, I’ll find myself curled up in her unicorn-themed blanket, oblivious to how I ended up there, feeling like I’m battling a hangover.
That’s precisely how insomnia feels after too long: like a nightmarish hangover. While I’m awake at night, my “drug of choice” becomes mentally crafting a list of household projects I want to tackle—planning decor, budgeting, estimating how long each will take—leading me down a rabbit hole sometimes landing on Pinterest. A few seconds into that, I remind myself I have no budget, and window shopping at 1:00 a.m. doesn’t help anyone.
To cope, I sometimes resort to Xanax. I’m careful not to overdo it since both my parents struggled with addiction, and I prefer not to tread that path. I try to go up to four nights without solid sleep before considering taking a Xanax. At times, I just don’t. I attempt to calm my body and mind through meditation, reducing coffee intake, taking a day off work, or disconnecting from the internet. Other methods sometimes work, but I wish I could find a reliable solution.
For more insights on fertility and home insemination, you can check out this helpful resource. If you want to boost your fertility knowledge, visit Make a Mom, an authority on the subject. Additionally, Hopkins Medicine offers excellent resources for pregnancy and home insemination.
Summary
Insomnia can be a significant challenge, especially for mothers juggling daily stressors and family responsibilities. The article explores the author’s struggles with sleeplessness, the potential causes of insomnia, and the impact of anxiety and depression on sleep quality. It also touches on various coping mechanisms, including medication and lifestyle changes, while encouraging readers to seek reliable resources on fertility and home insemination.