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I’ve never been the kind of mom who overly stresses about germs. My kids are familiar with the five-second rule, we aren’t germaphobes, and I certainly haven’t kept them isolated. I was more the type of mom who encouraged their exploration and shrugged off their occasional gross habits as simply “building their immune systems.” But that all changed with the onset of COVID-19.
This relentless pandemic has made me hyper-aware of everything my children do. I constantly remind them to sneeze into their elbows, avoid touching things that aren’t theirs, and for goodness’ sake, don’t let anyone breathe on them! Now that they’re back in school, I find it hard to cope with even the slightest cold symptoms.
On September 13th, one million kids returned to NYC public schools, including my four-year-old, who just started preschool. My second grader had been back for almost a month. While I was relieved to have my kids out of the house—especially since my oldest despised remote learning—I was hit with a wave of anxiety I hadn’t anticipated. I was prepared for the typical school germs from my second grader and the first-time preschool germs from my youngest. But I wasn’t ready for the intense worry that comes with every little sniffle.
Is this going to be my new normal?
I often envisioned what our mornings would look like with both of my older kids in school. I imagined peaceful days filled with quiet and the freedom to do as I pleased (then baby #3 arrived, and that dream vanished). I never expected to sit on my couch in a state of panic after drop-off, trying to remember if I had given them their vitamins. Our morning routine is a whirlwind—wake up, breakfast, VITAMINS, wash faces, brush teeth, get dressed, hair done, backpacks packed, water bottles ready, and masks checked.
Because, heaven forbid, anyone in this house comes home from school with so much as a sniffle or sneeze.
I constantly grapple with the decision to keep my kids in a protective bubble for my sanity or send them to school for their benefit. I can’t trust my seven- and four-year-olds to remember to do the “right thing” throughout the day. They’re kids, after all, and they’re thrilled to be back around peers. Plus, they’re not eligible for the COVID-19 vaccine yet. While NYC requires teachers to be vaccinated, it doesn’t mean sickness is off the table. Illness will occur.
Since schools reopened, pediatric COVID cases have surged—not surprising given the nature of germs and their spread. Urgent care centers, pediatricians’ offices, and children’s hospitals are overwhelmed with the demand for COVID, RSV, and other rapid tests. Finding at-home rapid tests in pharmacies has become nearly impossible, and even those aren’t sufficient for symptomatic children to return to school. Given this situation, my chances of experiencing a panic attack at home have skyrocketed.
I feel like I’m missing out on the peace of having my kids at school because I’m consumed with worry over their health. Every cough or sniffle sends me spiraling. As the CDC notes, fever and cough remain the top symptoms of COVID. For any parent with school-aged children, fever and cough are common, especially this time of year.
Now, I’m left with the constant concern of distinguishing between a cold, the flu, or COVID. The only sure way to tell is through testing, but I have no desire to venture into germ-laden places. So, I sit at home, praying my children remember to keep their masks on and avoid sharing germs. They deserve to be kids and have fun, but for everyone’s sake, I hope they stay healthy. Seriously, my anxiety can’t handle even the mildest cold right now. If you’re feeling this way too, just know you’re not alone!
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Summary:
The ongoing pandemic has transformed my perspective on germs and health, especially concerning my children. As they return to school, even the slightest sniffle triggers overwhelming anxiety. Balancing the need to keep them safe while allowing them to thrive in their social environments has become a daily struggle. It’s a challenging time for parents, and if you feel similarly, know that you’re not alone.