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Women on TikTok are uniting to shine a light on a frustrating phenomenon known as weaponized incompetence, characterized by men who deliberately act clueless to avoid responsibilities. If you’ve ever watched a TikTok that made your blood boil, brace yourself; this topic is bound to ignite some serious anger.
For those unfamiliar with the term, weaponized incompetence refers to the act of pretending to lack skills in order to offload tasks onto someone else. This behavior often leads to women taking on a disproportionate share of household chores and parenting duties, simply because their partners feign inability.
This concept closely ties into the idea of emotional labor. Even if a husband pitches in, if he requires constant reminders about what needs to be done and how to do it, he’s still adding to his partner’s mental load. It becomes a hassle for women to remind their spouses to contribute when it often feels easier to handle everything themselves.
Why Do Fathers Get a Pass?
Why do fathers get the privilege of lounging, taking extended showers, and disappearing for long bathroom breaks? Is it because they’ve mastered the art of doing just enough to let their partners shoulder the rest? Laura Danger, an educator focused on dismantling these outdated dynamics, encourages women to demand equal treatment. If dads get the perks, moms should too.
Consider the example of a husband who, while unplugging a wax melter, carelessly allows the cord to fall into the hot wax. Now, his wife must remember to remind him to avoid that mistake in the future. It’s frustrating to think she might just opt to handle it herself to prevent a potential fire hazard.
The Low Standards for Fathers
Are mothers really managing grown men who can’t even figure out which way to put on their child’s clothes? One TikTok creator highlighted a father struggling to dress his six-year-old daughter. After years of parenting, he remains incapable of completing this simple task. The question arises: why is the standard so low for fathers?
In another TikTok, a woman asks her husband for help with cleaning because she’s overwhelmed. His response? “You know I don’t notice things like that; you have to tell me what to do.” This kind of response can evoke pure rage. Some might argue, “At least he’s willing to help,” but let’s be clear: this isn’t merely help. It’s part of his responsibility as an equal partner in the household.
Having to explain what needs to be done adds another layer of stress. Why can’t he simply see the mess and take action? And let’s be clear: your male partner is not a babysitter; he’s a parent.
Time for Change
This behavior is incredibly disrespectful. It shows a lack of concern for the additional work created by his lazy attempts at helping. Men need to step up and act as equal partners, not additional dependents in the household.
It’s high time for men to break free from generations of ingrained misogyny and become better role models for their children. It’s 2021, and basic household tasks like laundry are within every man’s capabilities.
For more insights on related topics, check out this other blog post.
Summary
The TikTok hashtag #WeaponizedIncompetence has become a platform for mothers to call out fathers who avoid their share of household responsibilities by pretending to be incompetent. This behavior not only adds to the emotional labor women must bear but also perpetuates unfair dynamics in parenting and household management. Mothers are urging men to step up, share responsibilities, and be equal partners.