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Having navigated anxiety and panic disorders since childhood and attending therapy since my teenage years, I genuinely understand the importance of mental health. To me, mental well-being is just as vital as physical health, and I strive to convey this belief to my children.
In our family, validating emotions—especially the tough ones—has always been a priority. When my kids were younger and faced meltdowns, my approach was to help them manage their feelings without dismissing their emotions. Instead of saying, “stop crying,” I focused on providing support, allowing them to express their feelings freely.
As my children have matured, my role has evolved into being a safe space for them to discuss their feelings openly. They confide in me about their challenges, sharing issues they may not express to anyone else. We often have dedicated times, especially in the evenings, where they feel comfortable opening up about their struggles.
Supporting their mental health also includes allowing them to take mental health days from school. This is not about skipping school; it’s about making a conscious choice to pause and recharge. Recognizing when life feels overwhelming empowers them to take action.
I truly believe that these mental health days were instrumental in helping my son navigate the challenges of middle school.
I don’t want to come across as a perfect parent in addressing my kids’ mental health; I have undoubtedly made my share of mistakes. I can be short with my children at times, and I suspect that one, if not both, of my kids may have inherited my anxiety disorder. However, I maintain that mental health is a priority in our household.
Recently, I realized just how vital this focus on mental health is, particularly because I am raising sons who will grow into men. Research has revealed concerning trends regarding men and mental health. According to the National Institute of Mental Health, while men may report fewer mental health struggles than women, they are also less likely to seek help. This raises a critical question: Are men truly experiencing fewer issues, or are they simply more inclined to ignore them?
Cultural expectations often pressure men to “man up” and suppress their feelings, leading to a reluctance to seek help. Tragically, this societal norm contributes to the alarming statistic that men are four times more likely to die by suicide than women, as reported by the American Psychological Association.
These thoughts weighed heavily on me recently as my younger son grappled with significant mental health challenges upon returning to school after a year of remote learning. He struggled with feelings of inadequacy, saying things like, “I’m a bad person,” and “I can’t accomplish anything.” After discussions with his school psychologist and my husband, we decided to pursue therapy for him. Initially, I worried he might be hesitant, but he welcomed the idea, viewing it as another opportunity to talk about his feelings.
Although my son continues to face these challenges, he sees therapy as a normal and healthy step, which deeply moved me. I may not be able to prevent all mental health issues for my sons, but if I can raise them to understand that seeking help is a normal and vital part of life, I consider that a success.
This isn’t solely a “boy thing”—it’s essential for all children to learn the importance of mental health. However, those of us raising boys must make an extra effort, as societal pressures can create hurdles for them.
We have the power to nurture a generation of boys who understand that discussing feelings, prioritizing mental health alongside physical health, and seeking professional assistance when needed is a strength, not a weakness.
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In summary, as a mother of boys, it is imperative to prioritize their mental health, enabling them to grow into emotionally healthy men. By fostering a supportive environment where they feel safe to express their feelings and seek help, we can help break down the barriers that often hinder men from addressing their mental health.