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It’s difficult to pinpoint exactly when I realized that securing proper childcare for my autistic child would be a significant challenge. Maybe it was the time she decided to leap off the porch steps, or the moment I discovered her obsession with unscrewing lightbulbs, regardless of their temperature. Or perhaps it was the numerous times she headed straight toward potential hazards.
At some point, I came to a profound realization: even the most qualified childcare providers posed a safety risk for my daughter.
There was an occasion when I had no alternative but to hire a babysitter. I meticulously outlined my concerns in a detailed note, emphasizing the need for vigilance around our front, back, and side doors. I even sent a text about it before leaving, followed by a reminder an hour later. Each door has three locks for a crucial reason: to ensure Evelyn’s safety.
Later, I discovered that the babysitter had underestimated the necessity of those locks, and my daughter managed to slip outside. It wasn’t negligence; she simply forgot to secure one lock. In a typical household, this might be a minor oversight, but in our situation, the consequences could have been dire.
As the director of the Yale Toddler Developmental Disabilities Clinic states, “Toddlers with autism are in constant danger because they don’t understand threats.” All parents worry about their child’s safety, but for those of us with children who have disabilities—especially those who are nonverbal like my daughter—these concerns shift from mere anxiety to urgent necessity.
According to a study published in Pediatrics, nearly half of parents with autistic children reported their child going missing at some point. Alarmingly, 24% of these children were gone long enough to raise concerns, 26% faced drowning risks, and 65% were at risk of traffic-related injuries. These statistics are staggering, particularly when considering the additional difficulties in locating a missing child with autism.
If my daughter were to wander off, I know she likely wouldn’t respond to her name, even if I were calling her. Instead, she might flee from flashing lights or sirens, and she’s unlikely to seek help from strangers.
To feel assured of her safety, relying on student babysitters or in-home daycare isn’t an option anymore. It’s not that there’s anything inherently wrong with these options; it’s just that many caregivers lack the specialized training and resources needed to keep my daughter safe.
My worries extend beyond her safety from self-harm, including the potential for others to harm her due to her disability. Research indicates that children with intellectual disabilities are four times more likely to be victims of sexual abuse. While exact numbers for those with autism are scarce, it is clear that this population is particularly vulnerable.
I recognize that my perspective as a work-from-home mom allows me the privilege of being choosy about childcare, which isn’t the case for many families who must rely on in-home daycares or babysitters. Those providers often lack the necessary resources to care for autistic children and can easily experience burnout, leaving families in a difficult position.
A study found that mothers of children with autism spend an average of 9.5 hours daily caring for their child, compared to just 5.3 hours for parents of typically developing kids. This illustrates why respite care is vital for families like mine. It’s challenging to find trustworthy individuals who can meet my daughter’s unique needs. Although I work from home, respite care would allow me precious time to catch up on household tasks or simply rest, all while ensuring she is in safe hands.
Finding suitable childcare for an autistic child is undoubtedly daunting, but it is achievable. Connecting with local support groups for parents of children with autism, consulting your child’s developmental pediatrician for resources, and exploring services from organizations like Pathfinder are great starting points.
Initially, I struggled to accept that we needed extra support, fearing it might take away from others who might need it more. However, I realized that we are not a typical household, and such services exist for families like mine. It’s perfectly acceptable for me to seek and accept help as well.
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Summary
Finding safe childcare for an autistic child can be a daunting task. With specific safety concerns and the unique needs of children with autism, relying on conventional babysitters or in-home daycare is not always feasible. The importance of specialized training and resources for caregivers cannot be overstated. Families should seek support from local groups and professionals, understanding that it’s acceptable to ask for help.