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In a perfect world, everyone would have access to the fundamental necessities such as housing, food, and healthcare. However, to truly address trauma and loss, as well as to escape abusive situations, we require additional resources. Achieving mental health and attaining emotional and financial stability cannot be solely attributed to hard work. Suggesting that individuals simply “pull themselves up by their bootstraps” when it comes to their trauma is not only shortsighted but also dismissive. Without support systems that recognize the inequities faced by marginalized communities, individuals cannot resolve mental health challenges any more than they can eliminate poverty. While everyone should have the right to care for themselves, healing from trauma often necessitates a certain level of privilege.
At 42, I am still grappling with the trauma of my childhood, which was marred by abuse and exploitation. Though I sometimes feel frustrated that I haven’t completely moved on, I understand that healing is a non-linear journey. My experiences have profoundly influenced my understanding of people and relationships, reshaping my brain and creating survival coping mechanisms.
My journey toward understanding and gratitude was made possible through opportunities that many do not receive. I had the academic achievements and scholarships to leave my hometown; yes, I put in the effort, but my success was not achieved in isolation. I was supported by coaches, teammates, teachers, and family members who encouraged my growth. Recognizing that I needed to escape my past was crucial, but it wasn’t until I met new friends in college that I realized I needed therapy.
At 18, the concept of therapy felt foreign, expensive, and unrelatable to me. Fortunately, my college offered free mental health services, and a friend scheduled an appointment for me. Although my first therapist wasn’t the right fit, she referred me to someone who became instrumental in my healing journey. This therapist guided me through understanding my trauma and helped me access additional services that made therapy affordable.
Post-college, I was fortunate to have a safe, supportive environment and a partner who encouraged my mental health journey through therapy and medication. I was no longer battling external adversities while trying to conquer my internal struggles. Over the years, I have made strides in my mental health, even amidst setbacks. However, the layers of privilege I possess have made this journey significantly easier. My ability to confront and heal from my trauma is not universally accessible.
Take my most recent therapy session, for example. We decided to have a phone call while I took a walk. Before ending the call, I assured her I would email a photo of my insurance card and send a check for my copay. I trust my therapist and appreciate the choice of a phone call or video call, which I could do without fear of being overheard. I also have the means to travel to appointments, and my schedule allows me the flexibility to dedicate an hour to therapy without jeopardizing my financial security.
These privileges do not diminish the significance of my struggles; they simply make them more manageable. Healing should not require sacrificing essential aspects of life. Trauma is not the victim’s fault, and expecting individuals to take full responsibility for their healing is unjust. Recovery from trauma necessitates support, which is not something everyone can access.
Healing is not a straightforward path. It can be unpredictable, with memories and emotions surfacing unexpectedly, impacting daily life. Relationships can both aid in healing and trigger past wounds. It is vital not to blame someone for their healing process, especially if they lack the necessary support to navigate it. Too much has already been taken from those who have experienced trauma to expect them to bear the sole responsibility for recovery.
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In summary, healing from trauma often requires privilege and access to resources that not everyone has. Support systems, safe environments, and financial stability play critical roles in the recovery journey. Recognizing that healing is a complex and individualized process is essential, as is the understanding that no one should carry the burden of recovery alone.