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Friends, it’s not easy for me to say this, but the rumors are spot on. If you’re a parent with multiple kids, you’ll find that your youngest is likely to be both incredibly spoiled and somewhat overlooked. It’s a strange kind of magic that tends to happen the more siblings there are. In my case, with two older children, I can’t believe how much I let my youngest get away with. Is it that I’ve become more relaxed, or have my kids simply worn me down? Probably a bit of both.
Laissez-Faire Parenting and a Dash of Neglect
The running joke is that you document every milestone for your first child, but by the time the youngest arrives, everything feels routine. You become so accustomed to the chaos that they practically raise themselves. That’s certainly the case in my household. The baby has been practically raised by his older siblings, and honestly, they aren’t the best caregivers.
I promised myself I wouldn’t be that parent who favored the youngest. I wanted to break the cycle and maintain the same standards I had for my first child. But, as is often the case in parenting, what seemed like a solid plan in theory didn’t quite pan out in practice.
For my firstborn, I made homemade baby food, spending hours crafting nutritious meals and freezing them in BPA-free containers. I invested in organic products, educational toys, and dedicated myself to reading every night. I was so committed it was almost overwhelming. I even spoke only Mandarin to him and spent thousands to ensure he became bilingual.
Fast forward to my youngest, who thrives on a diet of granola bars, pizza, and juice. I’ll be lucky if he picks up any Mandarin—he often playfully mispronounces words just to tease me.
I used to be stricter, enforcing rules and sometimes raising my voice to guide their behavior. But with my youngest, I find it’s just not worth the effort. If he doesn’t want to bathe or eat anything besides granola bars, I’ve come to terms with it. He’s not particularly dirty, he takes his vitamins, and thankfully, we have good dental insurance.
Getting Away with Murder
Despite my relaxed approach, my older kids often voice their frustrations about how much leeway their youngest sibling gets—things they would never have been allowed to do just a couple of years ago.
When it came time for my youngest’s first kung fu belt test, I filled out the parent portion with glowing reviews, even though he’s not the most obedient. My older kids, however, would have faced strict scrutiny. The result? My youngest earned the family’s first medal after seven years of kung fu, leading to tears and cries of “unfair” from his siblings. The only way I could calm them was to promise them perfect scores for their next tests, which they promptly received.
Favoritism or Just Fatigue?
Let’s address the topic of spoiling. Accusations of favoritism run rampant. Some might argue that I love him more because I let him indulge in candy for breakfast. Am I being easier on him? Not really; I’m just making it easier on myself.
He is indeed spoiled, but it’s not just me who dotes on him. His older siblings go out of their way to keep him happy because they know his tantrums will only bring my attention to them.
In truth, it’s not about coddling the baby; it’s about surrendering. I’m just so incredibly tired. Life isn’t that serious; he’ll turn out just fine.
And let’s not shed too many tears for the older siblings. They cleverly use the youngest as their pawn, knowing it’s harder for me to resist his adorable antics. After all, it’s been years since I’ve faced such fresh cuteness, and that little squeaky voice is hard to ignore.
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In summary, parenting dynamics shift with each child, leading to unique challenges and revelations. While the youngest may appear spoiled, it’s often a reflection of parental fatigue and the evolving family dynamics.