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“NO! I can’t do it! I won’t!” my eight-year-old daughter yells, flinging her notebook across the room.
She’s referring to her homework, and for the past hour, I’ve been doing my best to encourage her to complete it. She only needs to write two sentences on an index card, a task that should take no more than five minutes. She’s more than capable of doing it—yet, as she insists, she just can’t.
The issue isn’t the assignment itself; it’s her anxiety.
Since returning to in-person school after a year of remote learning, her stress levels have skyrocketed. To be fair, her anxiety was already significant before this. Ever since the initial lockdown in spring 2020, anything related to school has been highly triggering for her.
She disliked “remote learning,” as we call it, trying to finish assignments while both of her parents were working from home full-time. She also struggled with online classes, which led us to homeschool her.
During the periods she was in online classes, she spent about half the time completely zoning out, a quarter of the time frustrated because her teacher couldn’t understand her questions, and the rest of the time curled up on the floor, crying.
Homeschooling her was a better experience, and she managed to stay relatively happy throughout that school year, despite the various COVID restrictions. She was thrilled to return to in-person classes this September, and overall, it has been a positive change. We all agree that traditional school is better than the “remote learning” and online formats.
However, she continues to grapple with anxiety on a daily basis.
My daughter has always been somewhat anxious, particularly when it comes to school. She’s a reserved child, and it takes her time to warm up at the beginning of each school year. Mornings often involve her complaining of stomachaches or pleading to stay home with me. Deep down, she’s a mama’s girl.
She has also encountered stress related to certain school tasks, especially writing, which causes her significant anxiety and writer’s block. The familiar scene of her tossing her notebook and taking ages to start her homework is something we’ve consistently faced.
Unfortunately, the situation has worsened dramatically since the pandemic began. Returning to school after such a long absence has been a monumental adjustment. I’ve never witnessed her school-related anxiety—or general anxiety—this elevated.
Just yesterday, she spent two hours crying over her homework, expressing her school stress, and even getting upset about a Band-Aid I put on a cut on her finger. At times, during these meltdowns, she’ll say things like, “I’m the worst kid ever. I hate myself. I hate my life.”
It absolutely breaks my heart.
Fortunately, she has a lot of support. There’s an excellent school counselor who has known her for a while and even connected with her virtually when she was struggling during remote learning. He provides a safe space for her when she feels anxious at school.
We have also begun therapy, where she’s had three sessions with a Cognitive Behavioral therapist, and it appears to be going well. I’m hopeful that she can provide her with strategies to manage her anxiety. Ultimately, I want my daughter to feel happy, balanced, and self-assured.
I know she isn’t alone in this. Many children are facing similar challenges. According to CNN, there has been a significant surge in kids seeking mental health support since the pandemic began, with some hospitals struggling to meet the demand.
The school counselor mentioned that he’s been busy with students coming to see him. He’s even starting a support group for children dealing with mental health issues related to the pandemic. When I reached out to find a therapist for my daughter, many practices were fully booked, which is largely due to pandemic-related stressors.
I want to clarify that I don’t oppose the pandemic restrictions aimed at keeping our children safe. While the isolation has had detrimental effects, maintaining their physical health, as well as that of their families and communities, is just as crucial as supporting their mental health.
Still, I believe the pandemic has taken a toll on our children. The trauma is very real, and it’s disheartening.
I genuinely believe that my daughter will adjust back to school, learn to cope with her stress, and navigate the trauma of the past few years as best as she can. I will continue to support her, and I hold onto the hope that this experience will ultimately be a valuable lesson for her.
But for now, this journey is incredibly tough. If you’re facing similar struggles with your child, know that you’re not alone.
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Summary:
The article discusses the challenges children, particularly the author’s daughter, face in transitioning back to in-person learning after a period of remote schooling. It highlights the surge in anxiety among children and emphasizes the importance of support systems, including therapy and school counselors. It reassures parents that they are not alone in dealing with these struggles and encourages seeking resources for assistance.