My Kids Have My Complete Support to Be ‘Rude’ to Creepers

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“You realize you have my full support to be as rude as you need, right?”

“Yes, Mom. I know.”

“You can yell whatever you want. Make everyone look.”

“You’ve mentioned it a million times.”

“Make them think you’re out of your mind. Show them you’ll completely ruin their plans.”

“Okayyy, got it! Scream and wave my arms, act rude and crazy. Understood, Mom.”

This was a chat I had recently with my 11-year-old daughter. Clearly, it’s a discussion we’ve had before. I’ve had similar talks with my son, though my concerns have evolved as he’s grown. At 15, he’s statistically less likely to be targeted. So, I now emphasize not just self-defense but also being an ally to those who need it, respecting women’s space, and standing against inappropriate behavior. I want him to be aware and confident enough to confront someone who is unsettling others.

I engage in these discussions because I want my children to realize that, while kindness and respect are essential values, those who disregard their boundaries or exhibit harmful intentions don’t deserve polite treatment. My children’s safety is my top priority, and the comfort of others pales in comparison.

The Importance of Being Rude

For years, I’ve encouraged my kids to “be rude” — to defend themselves and assert their right to personal space. My approach became even clearer after seeing a TikTok series by user @spirtual_af, particularly a video that asks why families often have a “creepy Uncle Jimmy” but fail to address the behavior that makes him creepy.

She’s right. Adults frequently overlook their discomfort with certain individuals to maintain peace, which only allows inappropriate behavior to thrive.

We mustn’t let them off the hook. @spiritual_af questions why we don’t call out creepy behavior in real-time. If no one speaks up, the offender may think their actions are acceptable or that they can get away with them.

“We don’t have to jail every perpetrator to effect change,” she notes. “You need to speak up, even if it makes you uncomfortable.”

These situations don’t always require extreme measures. Sometimes, simply calling out inappropriate behavior is enough to make someone reconsider their actions.

I take this advice further with my kids, particularly my daughter. It’s okay to be rude or impolite; it’s even acceptable to appear “crazy.” I give her my full support.

Empowering My Children

I’ve shown both of my kids the TikTok video by @gabin.sarah multiple times because it showcases a young woman who defies social norms to confront a creep. I want my daughter to understand it’s okay to make others think she’s unhinged if it means ensuring her safety. I also want my son to recognize the type of man he should not become.

As @spiritual_af wisely states, “Politeness protects predators.” This is true across the board. Predators thrive on remaining unnoticed, and we must change that narrative by calling them out and ensuring they know they’re being watched.

Teach your children to be assertive. Encourage them to trust their instincts when they sense danger. Let them know it’s acceptable to be assertive when their safety is at stake.

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Summary

Empowering children to recognize and confront inappropriate behavior is crucial. By encouraging them to be assertive and even “rude” when necessary, we are fostering an environment where they can prioritize their safety over social niceties. The message is clear: it’s okay to be uncomfortable and speak out against what feels wrong.