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Parenting isn’t for everyone. Many individuals choose to live fulfilling lives without having children, and that’s completely valid. In fact, the trend shows that birth rates in the United States are on the decline, yet people will always continue to have kids. That’s simply how life continues.
As a mother of four, ranging in age from 13 to 5, I’ve experienced a wide array of parenting challenges. While I may not have a toddler now, I have accumulated a solid sixteen years of experience with young children. Unfortunately, society often isn’t very kind to kids or their parents. Beyond the toddler years, some adults simply don’t seem to like children at all, and that can be challenging for those of us raising them.
Many child-free adults may have unrealistic expectations of how kids should behave. They often treat children like miniature adults, forgetting that kids are still figuring things out. We can’t expect them to act like grown-ups, nor should we expect them to not engage with society just because some believe they shouldn’t be a bother.
Babies, for instance, are loud and often cry, whether at home or in public spaces. I once had a woman at church insist I take my 14-month-old out because his joyful babbling was bothering her. Instead, I chose to stay, inform the pastor, and even wrote a blog post about it. It was cathartic, but it still saddened me to witness someone be intolerant toward an innocent child.
As children grow, we tend to expect more from them. Some kids can sit still longer and remain quieter, but that’s not true for all. If you have a child who is more compliant, great! If not, that’s perfectly fine, too. No one should dictate how your child should behave unless you’re seeking advice from a professional like a doctor or teacher. Other opinions are irrelevant, and as parents, we must remember that, even if it’s tough to develop a thick skin.
I want to clarify that not everyone without children is intolerant. My focus is on those who seem to forget they were once children, too. No one enters the world as a fully-formed adult; we all started as babies, crying and making noise when we weren’t supposed to. We should keep that in mind.
I respect those who choose not to have children. I strive for my kids to be well-behaved around them, but they are kids, and sometimes things don’t go as planned. I shouldn’t have to suppress my children’s personalities to please an adult. We all need to extend grace to one another; adults need to take a breath and remember that kids are just that—kids.
Just as I wouldn’t judge how someone lives their child-free life, others should refrain from criticizing my parenting. If you haven’t raised a child, you can’t fully understand the complexities involved. Parenting is no easy task, and it requires immense responsibility.
Children aren’t going anywhere; they’re an essential part of our future. Adults need to adjust their expectations. A child’s brain doesn’t fully develop until around age 25. So why should we place such high demands on young kids? It’s simply unfair to them and to the parents who feel scrutinized for their child’s behavior.
To all the child-free adults out there: when you see a parent struggling with a child, whether baby or teen, take a moment to reflect on your own childhood. You were once that child, and it required patience and understanding from many adults to shape you into who you are today.
When encountering a child, choose respect over judgment. Treat them as you wish to be treated. Remember the simple message: “Be Kind.” Children will grow up soon enough, and they are always observing the behavior of those around them. As adults, we must set a good example because you never know who might be watching and learning.
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Summary
It’s essential to recognize that parenting is a challenging journey, and children should not be held to adult standards. Respect and understanding should be extended to both kids and parents, acknowledging that everyone was once a child too. Adults must lead by example, keeping in mind that kids are always watching.
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Parenting, Child-Free Adults, Respect for Children, Understanding Parenting Challenges, Be Kind to Kids