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With Halloween behind us, it’s the perfect time for families to start planning their holiday celebrations, starting with Thanksgiving. In the past, our family disputes revolved around hosting duties—debating who deserved to host or what arrangement was most convenient. Last year, however, the conversation was minimal. With no vaccine available, we all opted for small, private Thanksgiving gatherings.
This year, we find ourselves navigating murky waters again. We have vaccines available, yet not everyone in my family is vaccinated, and we have young children who still cannot be fully protected. Moreover, it’s well-documented that vaccinated individuals can still contract COVID, although the risk of severe outcomes is significantly reduced.
My approach is straightforward. I believe in adhering to the recommendations from the U.S. Centers for Disease Control. I know it sounds excessive to some, but following expert guidance seems sensible to me. Unfortunately, my family—which includes my partner, our children, my parents, siblings and their families, and my partner’s family—is not in agreement with this approach. In fact, I feel like I’m the only one advocating for caution.
Within this group, there are unvaccinated adults, others who are vaccinated but have health issues that put them at risk, and children who have recently become eligible for the vaccine but are not yet fully vaccinated. Moreover, we all reside in areas with high transmission rates.
The CDC advises that if multiple households gather indoors, masks should be worn or, preferably, gatherings should be held outside. This is challenging in colder climates, though. I proposed renting outdoor heaters for a safe outdoor dining experience while asking everyone to mask up indoors, but this suggestion was met with either outright rejection or a deafening silence.
Some of my relatives, being older and retired, feel they have little to lose and prioritize family over guidelines. Others are skeptical of the CDC’s advice, and some who claim to trust the science offer flimsy arguments like, “we haven’t caught it yet, so we’ll be fine,” or dismiss the CDC’s high transmission warnings by claiming their families are more careful. Many are simply fatigued by the ongoing mask-wearing and social distancing.
I fall into the camp of those who feel like they have a lot to lose. I want to live a long life, protect my children, and avoid the potential long-term consequences of COVID. It feels surreal to be in a position where I’m advocating for CDC guidelines among adults who once respected such information.
This situation is isolating. It creates distance in relationships that were once close, breeds distrust, and makes me question the strength of my family bonds. I’ve always believed in doing the right thing—whether it was listening to authority figures in school or adhering to guidelines during the pandemic. Now, I find myself on the verge of spending Thanksgiving alone with my child or being pressured into a gathering that feels unsafe.
One relative remarked, “we each have a choice,” but it seems that their choices restrict my ability to make the ones I deem safe. The lack of compromise leaves me feeling disheartened.
You say you love me, but not enough to wear a mask. You say you care, but not enough to eat outdoors. Sometimes, you must stand up for yourself, but I never anticipated being alone in that endeavor among those I trust the most.
Further Reading
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Summary
This article details the author’s struggles with family disagreements over health guidelines for the upcoming holidays amidst the ongoing pandemic. Despite the availability of vaccines, differing beliefs and choices within the family create tension and isolation for the author, who prioritizes safety for themselves and their children.