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Sorry to all those nostalgic for the 1950s, but the days of the idealized husband coming home to a perfectly manicured home, with dinner waiting and a wife who caters to his every whim, are over. That dream was unrealistic back then, and it remains so today. In households with multiple capable adults, it’s essential that tasks are shared fairly.
In many homes, parents alternate cooking and cleaning, one handles laundry while the other picks up the kids, or one assists with homework while the other does the dishes. There are countless ways to ensure that everyone feels valued and appreciated in a household. But having one partner lounge around while the other takes on all the chores? Absolutely not. Women are reclaiming our power. We are not servants, and we refuse to spend our lives cleaning up after others who are more than capable of contributing.
So yes, it’s 2021, and it’s time to get serious about dividing household labor. Join in, or find another place to be.
Take, for instance, my friend Alex, who was raised by a fantastic stay-at-home mom and housekeepers. He does his own laundry, cooks on the grill, never expects his partner to cook, helps with dishes, and pitches in with the baby. I’m a stay-at-home dad, and I never realized how fortunate I was until now.
Then there’s Jamie, who shared that her husband spent the weekend digging ditches by hand, took the kids trick-or-treating, cooked dinner, did the dishes, and was ready to be intimate after all that effort. At 45, he proves that not all men are lazy or unhelpful.
Another friend mentioned her father, who would be 89 if he were still alive. Even back then, he was a real dad—cooking, cleaning, helping with homework, and balancing a full-time job with yard work. No excuse exists for men who don’t pull their weight.
And let’s not forget that many men, both past and present, are already stepping up. They change diapers, do laundry, and cook dinner—tasks once labeled as “women’s work”—because they understand there’s nothing more attractive than a partner who shares the load.
I once told my husband to cut the grass, but when he turned on the TV, I reminded him that if I was taking care of outdoor chores, he needed to handle indoor ones. Guess who ended up mowing the lawn?
I’m not against cooking for someone who takes care of me, but I refuse to be part of the club that caters to a partner and their family while being treated poorly. What I give depends entirely on what I receive.
It’s critical that you are sharing household tasks like cooking, cleaning, and childcare if you want passion to flow both ways. Many of us are stuck with partners who pile on the work but still expect us to keep the flame alive.
Days like today make me question why I ever got married. While my partner enjoys time with friends, I’m home with the kids, cooking, cleaning, and working, all while he claims to be “looking for a job.”
Sometimes I feel like I’m being played when my partner blames me for not getting things done, all while he spends his day playing video games. I handle chores, care for our toddler, and cook.
I’m exhausted from dealing with fatigue and morning sickness while also planning meals and cooking for my partner, who would otherwise blow our budget on takeout. It’s time for him to step up and make a sandwich.
We are all tired of feeling invisible and taken for granted. We are not your mothers. It’s time for everyone to act like adults, alright?
If you’re still wishing for the days of 1950s TV dads, that ship has sailed. Today’s households require everyone to pitch in, no matter the task. There are no “girl” or “woman’s” jobs anymore. Men can wash dishes and fold laundry—equality is just that simple.
If you find yourself in a relationship where the majority of the labor falls on you, it’s time to raise your voice and wave your flag of frustration. Catering to everyone’s whims isn’t helping anyone—not our kids, and certainly not ourselves. We need to teach our children that everyone contributes to household responsibilities and that Mom isn’t here to vacuum around anyone’s feet ever again.
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Summary
Household labor must be shared among all capable adults in the home, moving away from outdated gender roles and expectations. Many people are overcoming stereotypes and stepping up to contribute equally to domestic responsibilities. It’s essential to empower all individuals within a household to participate, ensuring that no one feels overburdened or unappreciated.