artificial insemination kit for humans
A few years ago, I made the decision to stop preparing a traditional Thanksgiving feast for my family, and it’s proven to be one of the best choices we’ve ever made. I say “we” because my partner, Alex, was the one who suggested I stop making a turkey, pointing out the dismal return on investment. (I can cook a mean turkey — but let’s be honest, a roasted turkey is still just a roasted turkey.)
While Alex took the kids to catch a movie early in the afternoon — yes, I realize many people consider Thanksgiving dinner to be at lunchtime, which is a concept I may never grasp — I was frantically trying to prepare the turkey, mashed potatoes, stuffing, gravy, and salad. Later, my beloved aunt would roast beets, my mom would whip up cranberry sauce, and we’d invite family friends who often brought their own dishes — frequently of the Chinese variety.
I’d watch my children eat a few bites of all this home-cooked goodness only for them to later request chicken nuggets and pizza.
Returning to My Roots
Long before the pandemic, we decided to return to my roots and embrace the tradition of dining at a Chinese restaurant for Thanksgiving. This should not be confused with our restaurant Christmas dinner tradition (another cherished custom in our family), although both occur at Chinese eateries and on holidays.
Why did I even try the traditional route? Growing up, I was indifferent to Thanksgiving foods. This may have stemmed from being raised in an immigrant household, where no one knew how to prepare the feast, and the forced sentiment of gratitude felt superficial.
Honestly, I can’t recall what we had for Thanksgiving dinner during my childhood. It likely blended in with our other “special” holiday meals — probably Chinese hot pot, teppanyaki, or whatever fancier Chinese dishes my mother decided to make. Sometimes there’d be a roast duck from our local Asian market.
Until we became part of a Chinese church and more of my mother’s friends immigrated from Taiwan, I barely experienced a “traditional” Thanksgiving dinner. My only exposure to turkey and the accompanying sides was the unappetizing TV dinner-like offerings from school lunches. To say I was underwhelmed would be an understatement.
As more families joined our community, we often had potlucks filled with exquisite homemade Chinese food, alongside one lonely, dry grocery store turkey that no one knew how to carve. It would sit there, neglected, while the real culinary stars — the duck, nuo mi fan, and other delicious dishes — vanished quickly.
The only exception was mashed potatoes and gravy (because who doesn’t love carbs smothered in fat?). I often lamented the waste of food, though I suppose the Chinese tradition of turkey congee the next day made it somewhat worthwhile. Eventually, as the kids grew up, my parents found it too much hassle, and thus the tradition of Thanksgiving at a Chinese restaurant was born.
Why I Tried Traditional Thanksgiving with My Kids
First, Alex grew up in a family where his mother prepared the full Thanksgiving dinner. Since we rarely saw his relatives, I thought it would be nice for him to recreate that experience with our children.
Second, I wanted my kids to have something that felt quintessentially “American.” There’s a unique nostalgia and bonding that comes from a shared national custom. I wanted to capture some of that, especially since my childhood was often about acknowledging that my family was different.
Lastly, preparing Thanksgiving dinner felt like a rite of passage for a grown woman with a family. I wanted to think I could be that kind of woman. (Spoiler alert: I am not.) Thankfully, Alex recognized that it made me unhappy before I did.
In hindsight, to have a truly authentic American Thanksgiving, we’d have to acknowledge the uncomfortable truths of history, which is a daunting thought.
Now, I simply make a reservation at our favorite Chinese restaurant for Thanksgiving (and Christmas) — or, during these pandemic times, I opt for takeout. Last year, I picked up our meal the day before because the restaurant was closed on the actual day, and it was still delicious.
The Best Part
So what’s the best aspect of ordering Chinese takeout on Thanksgiving? Everything. That’s right, ALL of it.
It’s not just avoiding the day-of chaos of cooking (which, let’s face it, requires immense effort I used to outsource). I don’t need to stress about finding the perfect turkey before they sell out, or figuring out if I should freeze it, and when to thaw it. There’s no brining, minimal planning, and I don’t have to worry about cleaning the house for guests.
I don’t have to slowly eat through leftovers, dreading the thought of turkey anything for a year until I have to do it all over again. Instead, I simply pay for our meal, and we enjoy it. Boom. Done.
Plus, my children are learning the valuable lesson that we can choose how to spend our time — and that doesn’t have to include a dry, boring turkey.
For more insights on parenting and home insemination, check out this blog post. If you’re interested in exploring options for starting a family, Make A Mom is a great resource on home insemination. Additionally, Healthline offers excellent information regarding pregnancy.