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You know what I find myself longing for? The excitement of flirting. Sure, I can flirt with my husband (and I do from time to time), but it lacks that spark. Our playful exchanges are rooted in familiarity, where we both know the rhythm of each other’s responses. While comforting, it often leaves me feeling unfulfilled.
I miss the exhilarating rush of sexual tension — that anticipation of playful banter potentially leading to something more, or retreating back into safe territory. The joy of discovering someone who is quick-witted and not just a pretty face is something I genuinely miss. I long for flirting that’s charged with intent — a dance of words that entices, and it’s a shame because I excel at this kind of flirting.
Of course, being married doesn’t mean I have to abandon flirting altogether. I fully support consent; if my partner was okay with me flirting with others, that would be fine! However, for me, flirting with anyone other than my husband feels uncomfortable. I recognize how easily situations can shift from innocent to inappropriate, and I want to avoid any circumstances that could lead to poor decisions.
This is my personal stance; I have no judgment towards those who feel differently. I see flirting with other men as akin to an alcoholic walking into a fully stocked bar — it’s a slippery slope. I also refrain from pursuing friendships with men I find attractive, which is likely influenced by my role as a stay-at-home mom. I rarely meet men unless they’re partners of friends, and honestly, that’s just not appealing to me.
Even if my husband were open to non-monogamy, I wouldn’t want to date or sleep with anyone else. Perhaps it’s because I struggle with maturity in emotional matters, and navigating the complexities of relationships feels overwhelming for little reward.
I’ve come to realize that this might be why I enjoy making new friends so much. Being an extrovert, I find joy in the initial stages of friendship — it’s akin to the beginnings of romantic attraction, but without the pressure of whether there’s a sexual interest. I don’t want to betray my husband; forming new friendships satisfies my desire to feel attractive, humorous, and clever.
Old friends are also great for playful banter, but there’s something uniquely thrilling about connecting with new people. It’s like an improvised dance, discovering each other’s personalities and quirks. Each new connection reveals different facets of oneself, and it’s a joy to see how your humor and wit come alive again.
New friends also allow you to revisit your best material — jokes that might have gone stale with old friends suddenly feel fresh and funny again. They find you amusing and ask if you’ve ever considered being a comedian, to which you can modestly respond that, yes, you have, but lack the resilience or dedication to pursue it.
The intellectual challenge of winning someone over with your wit is invigorating. How do you impress someone who doesn’t yet care about you? How do you communicate that you have depth and charm without coming off as arrogant? Finding someone whose banter makes you laugh with glee is a delightful experience, and it feels safe and refreshing. After all, don’t we all deserve to feel vibrant and captivating again?
Here’s to the undeniable joy of forging new friendships — may we all feel like we can enchant and intrigue just as we did in our younger days.
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Summary
The author reflects on the thrill of flirting and how it contrasts with the comfort of established relationships. While marriage brings familiarity, the excitement of new connections is missed. The piece explores the emotional complexities of flirting outside of marriage, the joy of forming new friendships, and the intellectual challenge of impressing others through wit.