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November wouldn’t feel quite right without Friendsgiving. For nearly a decade, my friends and I have gathered a few weeks before Thanksgiving to cook, celebrate, and express our gratitude together. It’s a cherished tradition that I can’t imagine letting go of.
During my childhood, I was surrounded by a multitude of cousins, aunts, and uncles. With two sets of grandparents nearby, I never felt lonely. My mom’s large Italian family provided a lively atmosphere, while my dad’s vast French-Canadian clan added to the joyful chaos. Every holiday was a guaranteed whirlwind—a feast and a delightful ruckus, a dream come true for any child.
Fast forward to today, and family dynamics have shifted dramatically. Those once-little kids have grown up and started their own families. Some of us have drifted apart, while others have moved far away. My family now lives a thousand miles from my childhood home, and with the passing of many older relatives, including most of my grandparents, large family gatherings have become a rarity.
Locally, I have my husband’s brother, my dad, and his partner. That’s our entire local family unit. Occasionally, we make the journey for special occasions, but those instances are few and far between. I strive to create memorable holidays for the family I can reach, but our gatherings tend to be small.
While I once worried that my children would miss out on the vibrant family experiences of my youth, I’m grateful to say they aren’t lacking. My close-knit group of friends has become the aunts, uncles, and cousins my kids don’t have nearby. Friendsgiving serves as their version of the bustling family celebrations I once cherished.
My circle of friends consists of five incredible women who have stood by each other through thick and thin. Over the years, many others have come and gone, but these five have weathered every storm. We’ve supported each other through births, losses, and life changes. We’ve shared countless meals, and each child is considered a part of our collective family. When something significant happens, it’s this group that we turn to for support and joy.
Since we each spend the actual holiday with our biological families, we make it a point to set aside time in November to give thanks together. Friendsgiving has become a treasured occasion, where we can all contribute to a potluck meal without concern about kitchen mishaps.
Each year, we anticipate the arrival of our friend with six kids, who will inevitably be a few minutes late, her children bursting through the door in their coordinated outfits. Another friend, who often hosts because of her clean house, will go all out with decorations, crafts, and more food than we could ever eat. Our entrepreneurial friend arrives early, juggling her busy schedule to bring her grandmother’s beloved broccoli casserole. Then there’s our artistic friend, who arrives fashionably late with a modest fruit salad, which always brings laughter.
And then there’s me, showing up with mashed potatoes and a hint of anxiety. I often overshare, but usually in a way that brings laughter. If I’m lucky, all my kids will be wearing shoes and haven’t spilled anything on their outfits before we get a group photo.
We spend the day listening to our kids laugh, bicker, and run around until they’re worn out. Our husbands bond over whiskey and cigars while our combined sixteen children entertain each other.
Friendsgiving is the highlight of my November. These quirks have formed our traditions and these individuals have become as important to me as my own family. Friendsgiving is a holiday that we all agree is essential. My kids may not have a large extended family nearby, but they do have this extraordinary group—our chosen family, which feels like a beautiful stroke of luck. Friendsgiving is a time for us to show gratitude for the wonderful life we share throughout the year.
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Summary
Friendsgiving has become my most treasured holiday tradition, allowing my close-knit group of friends to celebrate and give thanks together. Despite the changes in family dynamics over the years, this gathering fills the void left by distant relatives. Our unique quirks and traditions have forged a bond that feels just as strong as blood relations, making this occasion a joyful highlight of the year.