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I find myself in the middle years of life. The term can sound intimidating, can’t it? Middle-aged individuals are often stereotyped as wrinkled, old, and stuck in their ways, only tuning into talk radio or driving practical cars. But I see myself as vibrant and youthful (at least in spirit). Still, I have embraced some classic middle-aged habits.
I’ve started to enjoy “90s on 9” and have drifted away from what’s popular on the charts. I’ve dipped my toes into the world of skincare, with eye creams and serums now part of my routine. Nightgowns have become more about comfort than style. Just like me, my marriage has also matured.
Yet, I can honestly say I’ve never felt happier.
At 42, with my husband, who is 48, we navigate life with our four children, a mortgage, and a reliable minivan. We eagerly await episodes of Dateline and find joy in Netflix reruns. The thrill of our lives now includes the excitement of finding the last inflatable nutcracker in the store, high-fiving as if we just won a game show. That was a highlight of our holiday season.
I genuinely cherish my husband as he approaches 50. He has minimal expectations of me. He appreciates me for who I am today.
When we began dating nearly 20 years ago, I was a different person—fit, stylish, and always in heels. Now, my body has changed, marked by a C-section scar and yoga pants that have never seen a yoga class. I even wear custom orthotics for my plantar fasciitis. Doesn’t that sound appealing?
But he doesn’t mind. He surprises me with gifts like a T-shirt that reads, “This Is My Christmas Movie Watching Shirt,” not because it’s sexy, but because it’s cozy and he thinks it fits my holiday vibe.
Don’t get me wrong—we still enjoy date nights where I dress up. I haven’t completely given up on looking nice. I’m just more comfortable in my own skin now. I am focused on caring for our home and family instead of chasing after corporate success, and that suits both of us just fine.
Our middle-aged marriage isn’t dull; it’s cozy. We have a rotating menu of meals—not the gourmet dishes I used to whip up. The kids prefer buttered noodles and Shake ‘N Bake, and my husband is easygoing about it. Like many dads, he’s happy with whatever I serve, and his favorite meal? A simple sandwich. He insists I make the best sandwiches in the world, not because they’re fancy, but because they come from me.
Of course, it’s not all sunshine and rainbows. We do argue, like any couple. However, as we grow older, we realize that disagreements don’t define our relationship. While we may want to be right, prolonging arguments isn’t worth it. Over the years, we’ve learned the value of agreeing to disagree (though I maintain he’s mostly wrong). Our disputes often end with me saying I hate him, followed by laughter, and that’s that.
I may not be the same girl who wore heels, but I am a new woman, and he has been by my side through it all. He witnessed my struggles after surgery and supported me during tough times. Together, we’ve handled everything from broken dishwashers to sick children. We’ve weathered storms, but our commitment to each other has never faltered.
What I treasure most about our middle-aged marriage is our shared vision for the future. We’ve navigated the chaos of raising young kids and have settled into fulfilling careers. As we approach milestones—like having a child in high school—we’re cherishing every moment. We’re slowing down, savoring our time together before the nest empties.
One day, when that time comes, I believe we’ll still find joy in each other’s company. As I journey toward old age, I’m determined to relish the everyday moments of this middle-aged marriage. When he asks for a sandwich, I’ll pause to make one. When he surprises me with flowers, I’ll greet him with a kiss and gratitude because I know he was thinking of me. I’ll make the bed with fresh sheets for him to enjoy as he settles in for the night.
I’ll continue to echo the wise words of Huey Lewis and The News: “Yes, it’s true. I’m so happy to be stuck with you.”
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Summary:
This article reflects on the joys and comforts of a middle-aged marriage, highlighting the evolution of love and partnership through the years. The author shares personal anecdotes about her relationship, emphasizing the happiness found in everyday life and the importance of supporting one another through life’s changes.