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The first time I was labeled a “supermom,” I was taking a walk with my infant son. He was just two weeks old, my first child, and I was grappling with significant postpartum anxiety. After being cooped up in the house since my hospital discharge, I felt the urge to get outside. My neighbor observed my struggle with the stroller but I stubbornly refused his offer of assistance, despite still feeling the physical strain from childbirth. Eventually, I managed to fold the stroller while carrying my baby.
“You’re going to be a supermom!” he declared.
As my pregnancy progressed with my third child, I frequently received the “supermom” label whenever I ventured out with my baby and toddler. People were curious about how I managed to look put-together, keep my house tidy, and even bake cookies. The more I was praised for being super, the more pressure I felt to live up to that title. I found myself in a relentless competition with myself, attempting to maintain that ideal image.
Whenever guests were coming over, I felt the need to ensure that everything was perfect. Meals were made from scratch, and I never missed an event. I was constantly on the go, from the moment I awoke until I finally collapsed on the couch at night. My hair was styled, a delightful candle was always lit, and I organized daily crafts for my kids. We were punctual, and I beamed with pride whenever I interacted with others.
But beneath that façade, I was struggling. After being dubbed a supermom for the first time, I embraced that role as if my life depended on it. Transitioning from being the primary earner to a stay-at-home mom left me searching for an identity beyond motherhood.
This wasn’t anyone else’s fault; I was the one pushing myself to the brink in order to impress others. New mothers are often vulnerable, faced with significant life changes and feelings of self-doubt. They crave acknowledgment and purpose, and many chase the elusive title of supermom, desperately needing to feel valid in their new role.
It wasn’t until after my divorce that I began to let go of the need to cook constantly or worry about my children’s outfits. I allowed my home to become a bit messy, ventured out without makeup, and shifted my focus to building a new identity that resonated with me. This meant abandoning the pretense of having everything under control — because I certainly didn’t.
The culture surrounding supermoms is detrimental. Many of us feel overwhelmed, and when we finally reach out for help, others are often bewildered. They’ve seen us embody the supermom persona for so long that they expect us to need nothing. However, maintaining that role is only sustainable for so long.
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In summary, the concept of the “supermom” can be incredibly damaging, pushing mothers to their limits as they strive for perfection. Embracing authenticity and acknowledging our struggles is essential for well-being.