Dear Family, I Need You To Recognize Me

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As a partner and parent, there are times when I feel invisible. I’m present during morning routines and evening wind-downs, but it often feels mechanical. I prepare breakfast, drive the kids to school, pack their lunches, and ensure their water bottles are filled. While I don’t believe they take me for granted, I often wonder if they realize just how much I do for them.

My family is the center of my world, and I can’t imagine life without them. Everything I do is for their well-being, yet I wish they understood the extent of my efforts.

I sanitize the kitchen sink with bleach to prevent any chance of foodborne illness from the chicken I’ve defrosted for dinner. I keep paper towels stocked for spills or quick hand drying. I scrub the bathrooms to keep germs at bay and ensure they remain healthy. My washing machine runs daily, providing them with clean clothes that carry the familiar scent of “mom’s laundry.” It feels like my contributions often go unnoticed.

I don’t seek recognition or gratitude for my efforts. However, when my daily tasks are overlooked, it can be disheartening. If no one acknowledges the freshly mopped floor or the clean dishes, what’s the purpose? Caring for multiple family members each day is a demanding job. At work, good performance is often rewarded, but at home, no one seems to notice the time spent cleaning toothpaste off surfaces in the bathroom. Yet, I do it time and again.

Perhaps the issue lies in our families being unaware of our efforts. It might be time to change that narrative and help them see the hard work we put in. This doesn’t mean delivering a long lecture about our sacrifices; rather, we can involve them in the chores from time to time. Creating a laundry schedule for each child could be a start—sharing my “trade secrets” with them. It’s essential for them to understand how stretched we are.

What I truly desire is to be acknowledged. It’s not merely a “thank you.” That phrase can feel insincere when said out of habit. A true expression of gratitude might look like changing an empty toilet paper roll, volunteering to drop the kids off at school so I can have a moment to myself, or offering a big hug after a delightful meal along with an offer to help clean up afterward.

Regardless of everything, our love and care for our families will never fade. We are blessed with the role of motherhood for a reason, and we strive to give it our best. But dear families, it’s crucial for us to feel seen. We need to be assured of your love and appreciation. A small acknowledgment here and there can significantly impact our lives. It’s not just about words—it’s about reciprocating love with acts of kindness. It really is that simple.

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