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People often say things like, “50 is the new 40” or “40 is the new 30.” It’s a well-worn trope that suggests aging isn’t what it used to be. Our current generation, no matter what decade we find ourselves in, appears to be trendier and more vibrant than those who came before us. Right? Well, not so fast.
While I do believe that being in your 40s can feel like being in your 20s, it’s not because I feel youthful or fashionable. In fact, I don’t feel particularly hip at all—if “hip” is even a word people use anymore. Yet, here I am, navigating my 40s, and in many ways, it echoes my 20-something experience.
This feeling isn’t about being carefree or wearing the same old concert t-shirts. Instead, I find myself grappling with the same mix of confusion and optimism that I had in my early 20s. I feel both excited and terrified, just like back then, and I’m also fed up with the nonsense that life throws at me.
In my 20s, I felt pressured to conform, but now? Not so much. I’m a confident woman who’s done playing games. I find myself in that familiar in-between phase again, standing at the edge of the “next big thing.” In my 20s, it was about moving from school to a job; now it’s about shifting careers, transitioning in parenting from toddlers to teens, and navigating the complexities of today’s world.
Despite the looming uncertainties, I catch glimpses of that youthful confidence I once had. In my 20s, it stemmed from naivety, while today, it’s grounded in experience and resilience. I don’t have confidence in the world around me, but I do trust myself more than ever.
Yet, beneath this surface confidence, there’s a gnawing confusion reminiscent of my mid-20s. I often feel like everyone has it figured out while I’m stumbling through the dark. This façade of confidence, much like back then, masks a deep-seated worry: Am I a good parent? Am I contributing to my children’s growth and development? Am I leading a life filled with purpose?
It’s easy to feel overwhelmed with the multitude of responsibilities—work, family, relationships, and aging parents. Do others feel like they’re failing at everything too? Is anyone else grappling with these feelings of exhaustion and confusion?
In my 20s, I buried these doubts under the demands of my career; now, I distract myself with work, my kids’ needs, and endless scrolling on social media. But the questions, loneliness, and confusion persist.
Being in your 40s is also about no longer tolerating nonsense. The trouble is, this heightened awareness of life’s absurdities leads to frequent disappointment—both in others and in myself. I find myself feeling frustrated, and sometimes even angry, about the state of the world.
So yes, 40s are the new 20s. This decade, like our 20s, is filled with transitions, unfiltered confidence, and the same old confusion. And, of course, I still hold onto that nostalgic concert t-shirt from my youth.
For more insights on this topic, check out this blog post that dives deeper into life transitions. If you’re interested in home insemination, BabyMaker is a fantastic resource. You can also explore Healthline’s guide on intrauterine insemination for more information.